Having doubts about who your date or partner is normal, but too much of it may be a sign that you should end it altogether. Remember that there’s no way to force a relationship to work. Every couple is different, though the signs of a failing relationship are all too often the same.
Here are 15 signs to help you decide whether or not you’re with the right person.
1. You don’t feel like yourself with them
They might think that the world revolves around them and urge you to put in more effort just to fit into their circle. Being with this person feels like having to put on a show and change character. You’re not thrilled about having to learn all the things they are interested in, and they don’t even try to do the same with your interests. No relationship is worth sacrificing who you are.
2. You haven’t introduced them to your friends and family
…and if they have then they are probably not comfortable with them. There’s a reason you haven’t introduced them to friends and family, and it’s not because you’re too busy. It could be that you’re embarrassed, which is already enough of a reason for you to pull the plug on the relationship.
3. You’re constantly fighting
Not saying that the best relationships don’t include the few occasional fights, but if that’s all you two are ever doing then it’s time to rethink.
4. You can’t have difficult conversations
It’s not right when every serious conversation you start gets shrugged off with ‘let’s not talk about this’ or ‘can we talk about something else.’ If there are things you can’t talk to this person about, then that’s a red flag.
5. Your relationship is their only interest
You feel like your partner only has one interest in life and yeah, you guessed it, it’s you. At this point, they get clingy. They expect you to be around, 24/7. Admittedly, getting attention from who you’re with is great, except when there’s too much of it.
6. Your mind is somewhere else when you’re with them
You can’t stay in the moment with this person. You’re always thinking of other activities you could be doing and at some point, hanging out with them gets exhausting. Spending time with this person seems more like a chore than it is just for fun, and you’re constantly feeling drained at the end of every meet.
7. You can’t imagine a future with them
…and when you try to, you either laugh or cry. You can’t bear to make plans, because at the back of your mind, you’re wondering whether or not you’d still be together by then. You don’t see yourself going on vacation with this person, or bringing them to your company christmas party, let alone to your cousin’s wedding.
8. You are sexually incompatible with each other
If you and your partner have yet to figure this out, then it’s all on you two to decide how to go about it. However if you already do know this fact in your relationship, then you’ve got a lot of thinking to do.
9. Your partner is inconsistent
They are constantly jumping from one job to another, they put more effort into friends and none in your relationship and they spend frivolously while not even working to make enough money. Frankly, their priorities are not in order.
10. You start thinking of your relationship merely as a convenience
Stay with people because of genuine feelings and not just out of simple comfort. Don’t ever stay with someone only because you hate the idea of having to start over. If your relationship is dead and 6 feet underground, let it stay there.
11. Even in your relationship, you still think about other people. A lot.
If you’re constantly thinking ‘God, if I were single, I would…’ then maybe, decide to be single?
12. You have different dreams
If your dream is to travel the world and wait to settle down until your late 30s, but who you’re dating wants to live in a suburb and start raising children by the time they’re 28, then how is that relationship going to work? When you have a set of goals too far off from your partner’s, and neither of you choose to work on a compromise, then you’re just wasting each other’s time.
13. Your best friend can’t understand why you’re with this person
When the person who knows you best can’t grasp the idea of why you’re even dating this person then maybe something isn’t right. Sometimes we can be blinded to someone’s flaws, so it’s always good to have another set of brains to help you think through your relationship. But in the end, don’t let your friends decide your relationships for you.
14. You keep making excuses to stay together
Keep in mind when the cons outweigh the pros. When things haven’t been going as great as they should be despite your best efforts, you may find yourself defending your relationship instead of leaving it altogether. Remember it’s okay to have standards.
15. You’re not growing to be a better person
Your relationship doesn’t benefit you in ways it should. Instead of bringing each other up, you’re tearing each other down. Being with them hasn’t helped you get closer to becoming the best person you can be, and you’d probably be doing a lot better by just moving on.
Find someone who makes you happy and treats you the way you need to be treated. Remember that genuine love can’t be rushed, and when you have it, you don’t even have to worry about whether you’re dating the right person or not.