Wyoming is a special place. That is if you deem ugly scenery, surly locals and out-and-out boredom special. Here are 18 reasons you should never visit the squalor that is Wyoming.
#1. Mountains? More like molehills.
Grand Teton National Park is basically flat as a pancake.
#2. The locals are ill-tempered and agitated.
If you’re looking for stress, you’ll find it in Cody, Wyoming.
#3. There’s honestly nothing to do.
Yellowstone National Park. The key word here is yawn.
#4. If you’re looking for wildlife, keep on looking.
Wild mustangs in Lovell? An ant-farm is more interesting.
#5. You want real cowboys? Rent a John Wayne flick.
Sheridan. Where the 10-gallon hats are about 5 gallons short.
#6. The people are an unfriendly brood.
Mean. Nasty.
#7. Take a walk outside and you’re knee-deep in clutter.
Jackson River: Would it kill you people to pick up after yourselves?
#8. Whatever.
The Grand Targhee slopes are no place for ski-lovers.
#9. This is where mother nature went to throw up.
One word: Ewww. Who’d want to visit Grand Teton National Park?
#10. Just leave your camera at home.
Limit your stay in Dubois to half a day. Max.
#11. You want fresh air? Pack the gas mask.
Take a deep breath in the Wind River Range. Hack! Cough! Wheez!
#12. There are just a grubby bunch of ranchers there, right?
For pete’s sake, Miss Wyoming, take a shower!
#13. A bigger cultural wasteland there has never been.
If you like art, the Rare Gallery ain’t for you.
#14. Everybody is sooo slothful and lazy.
People are basically comatose in Cloud Peak.
#15. The scenery sucks.
Devil’s Tower is U.G.L.Y.
#16. Yellowstone. Shmellowstone.
Go to your local park. You’ll have a better time.
#17. So this is Wyoming. Is armpit too good a word?
