23 Reasons Why Every Man Should Grow A FLOWER BEARD

A beard increases a man’s dateability at a scale that’s no longer calculable by human standards. Everybody knows that. But who knew that these glorious facial accessories could ever be outdone?

1. This is what a flower beard looks like.


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2. It’s also known as a love potion substitute.


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3. Gone are the days of boring old, one-ingredient beards.


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4. I’m pretty sure there are straight men out there who look at this and go:


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5. “That is really attractive.”


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6. Which is pretty darn understandable.


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7. I mean… just look at this magnificent creature.


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8. Take a minute to reflect on its beauty.


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9. Shhhhh.


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10. There is no sound worthy of describing its breathtaking grandeur.


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11. Take a whiff of that all-natural floral scent.


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12. Would you even need to wear perfume?


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13. Would you even need to wear anything at all?


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14. Did you even notice this guy’s pink hair? Me neither.


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15. Flower beards help to soften your look a little.


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16. But don’t worry, your masculinity’s safe.


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17. You know what? Frown all you want.


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18. Heck, you can even give up on smiling entirely.


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19. You’d still look absolutely, ridiculously ecstatic, all the time.


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20. Look at this man’s extreme happiness at all the action he’s getting.


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21. What’s stopping you from rocking foliage like these hotties?


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22. Go forth and multiply!


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23. (I was talking to your beard.)


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