There’s no denying that alcohol can be fun. But most of the time, you’d rather stay away. You’re one of those people who just aren’t enthusiastic about a raging hangover or giving your poor liver a battering.
So if you’re a clean-living, sober wild one, here are some things you can definitely relate to.
#1. Alcohol isn’t your favourite smell in the world.
“Is this gasoline?!”
#2. Or taste, for that matter.
God, no. Why. No.
#3. It’s way too easy to get you drunk.
“I’ll have a coke, thank you very much.”
#4. The only way you’re drinking alcohol is if it’s mixed with 10 parts of juice.
98% fruit juice, 2% vodka. Time to get turnt, yo.
#5. You believe that shots are pure evil.
Liquid confidence? More like liquid FIRE.
#6. Even when surrounded by alcohol, it’s the last thing you want.
All you want is a juicebox. Or sleep. Needless to say, alcohol doesn’t appeal to you.
#7. Being handed a drink is your worst nightmare.
You don’t want to be rude, but you also don’t want your insides to suffer.
#8. You’re constantly thinking of inventive ways to get your friends to have fun with you.
Ways that don’t require alcohol.
#9. You’ve been asked multiple times if your sobriety is due to your religion.
“I’m not questioning your lifestyle, so please don’t question mine.”
#10. You have SO MUCH dirt on people by the end of a party.
Perks of being the sober one. Not that you’d choose to blackmail anyone of course… 😉
#11. You’re the designated driver by default.
What would your friends do without you. Seriously.
#12. When you tell people you’re not drinking, they usually reply with “don’t be boring!”
So. Rude.
#13. You can fake being drunk to keep the party going.
And you’re a walking (or twerking) testament that you can absolutely have fun without alcohol.