Let’s talk about ‘book addiction.’ It may sound non-threatening, but believe me, it’s very real, and very serious.
Find out if you’re one of those suffering from this inescapable affliction that will take over your life… and your bookshelves.
1. Your family, friends, and S.O. know what to get you for all gift-giving occasions.
And anybody who knows you also knows not to take you within a hundred meters of any bookstore, or else you’ll be emptying their inventory as well as your bank account.
2. You’ll never be caught saying a movie adaptation of a book is better than the book.
Of course you can recall in glorious detail exactly which parts of the book were not included in the movie. And you have hated a film’s director more than once for skipping a favorite scene or quote. You also know that this does not make you a very popular movie companion among non-readers.
3. You don’t have posters of bands or popular actors
Because your bookshelves take up so much space. And for the rest of your room? It’s crawling with books, and there’s one in every nook and cranny. Under the bed? Books. In that box on top of the cabinet? Books. In the bathroom in case you get lonely on the toilet? You guessed it.
4. The first thing that gets thrown into your luggage when packing are books.
What’s a bibliophile to do during long plane or train rides? Read, of course! A vacation will not be complete without lazy afternoons spent just enjoying the view, with your favorite pocketbook in your lap.
That one year, some people thought you were Abe Lincoln or a meme, but obviously you were Charles Darwin (come on, wasn’t the beagle a dead giveaway?) And hello, you’re not Emma Stone from that Judd Appatow movie… have they never read The Scarlet Letter before?
6. You have best friends who aren’t exactly ‘real’.
Some books can be so engaging that you can’t even stomach the thought of calling the characters “fiction”. You’ve had real conversations with actual people where you started to say, “My friend Ramona also had that exact problem!” and then realize mid-sentence that you’re actually referring to someone you’ve only read about in a novel.
7. Books have deeply affected you on an emotional level.
Harry Potter made you braver, The Fault in Our Stars changed the way you saw cancer patients, and The Hunger Games influenced your independence. You’re at your happiest when reading…then you reach the last page of the book, and your heart proceeds to crumble into a million pieces. The only cure for this is to find another book to read, stat!
8. People usually go to you for book recommendations.
Your entire social circle knows that you have read more books than they all have in their whole lives. That means you know a thing or two about them, which is why you’re the first person they ask before buying something, or (gasp!) posting a review on Facebook, lest they get a comment from you that begins with, “I didn’t really enjoy this book because…
9. A lifetime of reading has armed you with an arsenal of book quotes (even entire lines of poetry) that you can whip out at a moment’s notice.
Your friends talking about a recent breakup? You interject with, Snape’s “After all this time?” “Always.” Your mom asking why you no longer have any time for her? Alice in Wonderland rolls right off your tongue with, “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” No one even dares challenge you with which-book-did-this-line-come-from games anymore because you kind of beat them all.
10. Your dreams are adventures sprinkled with magic.
All the worlds that you’ve lived in through reading have somehow managed to make their way into your subconscious, generating dreams and nightmares that are one epic thrill ride after another.
11. If you could live in your favorite book for a day (or forever), you’d do so in a heartbeat.
You can’t think of anything better than to enjoy a playful romp with Max, Carol, and all the Wild Things.
12. You already have a slew of possible names for your future children and pets.
At least Madeline Anna Karenina Hester and Atticus Finch Rhett Gatsby will have an interesting story to tell when their classmates ask what they were named after. So will your dog, Boromir!
13. You have gone on several ‘book fasts’ in your lifetime.
That is, foregoing meals, baths, and exposure to sunlight — all in the name of finishing an engaging book that you just cannot put down. It’s like the outside world doesn’t even exist when your nose is buried in a book. And your mother understandably disagrees with this practice.
14. You have made this addiction work for you instead of against you.
You have developed a reward system involving books whenever you need to have something done. When you’re studying for exams, finishing ten chapters of that History textbook will mean you can cuddle under the covers with C.S. Lewis. Going through with that half marathon that you challenged yourself to is cause for celebration… a trip to the bookstore!
15. If your house will ever burn down, you have no doubt as to which inanimate object you will save first.
Your clothes, shoes, and that desktop computer can wait — you just cannot risk your precious limited edition hardcover of Tolkien’s The Lord of The Rings trilogy being gobbled up in flames! Get it out of there as soon as possible!
