16 Reasons Why Toothpaste Is Actually Really Awesome

Maybe you’re the sort of chap who buys stuff in bulk, and have boxes of toothpaste stashed in your basement. Or you might just have a tube or two lying around, because you like living on the edge.

Either way, we’re about to turn your world upside down, because toothpaste has MANY uses aside from cleansing your teeth.

1. Use toothpaste to repair CDs or DVDs with small scratches.

You can now resurrect that old Hanson CD you thought was gone forever. Mmmmbop, man.

2. Get rid of water rings on wooden furniture.

It’ll come in handy when your S.O.’s family comes over for dinner.

3. Remove stains from fabric.

Are you a thrift store shopper? Yeah, we thought so. This one’s for you.

4. Get permanent marker off wood.

April Fool’s Day idea: draw on your mom’s mahogany table. Watch her face go through all stages of grief in ten seconds. Then let toothpaste save the day! (Just prepare to be grounded for life.)

5. Remove gum from hair or clothing.

Where was this tip when you were in junior high, a.k.a. the era of improperly-disposed gum?

6. Polish your silver.

Arrrrr, matey. Make yer pirate loot shine!

7. Dab toothpaste on zits to help get rid of them faster.

Make sure your Valentine’s date will be looking at your beautiful face, not at the giant zit on your nose.

8. Get crayon off your wall.

Toddlers are cute…except when they’re not. Get one less thing off your stressed shoulders (and walls).

9. After handling strong-smelling foods, such as onions and garlic, toothpaste can deodorize your hands.

No more Smelly Mellie!

10. Clean your toilet bowl.

For when you run out of toilet cleaner and just really, really need to clean your toilet bowl.

11. Remove tarnish from jewelry.

And now all those times when people would point to your silver class ring and say, “Cool, I love black jewelry,” are flashing before your eyes.

12. Make the white parts of sneakers white again.

We all know your Keds’ soles aren’t “dirty white”, they’re just plain dirty. You’re not fooling anyone, buddy.

13. Remove small scratch from screens.

Now this baby’ll sell a lot higher on eBay! Yaaaaas.

14. Clean piano keys.

Just think of them as your piano’s teeth. *snickers*

15. Scrub under and around your nails.

Because not everyone can afford a $35 salon manicure.

16. Make your iron sparkle.

Scrub that baby ’til you see your reflection.

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