1. Have you ever come across people who actually say Illinois is beautiful?
Rock Island, Illinois
2. They’re probably mentally deficient, because look at this place.
Starved Rock State Park, Illinois River
3. I mean, look at it.
Cypress Gardens, Cache River State Natural Area, Illinois
4. Just another hick state, right?
Night view of downtown Chicago, Illinois
5. Civilization schmivilazation.
Cloud Gate by Anish Kapoor, Millennium Park, Chicago, Illinois
6. Pretty sure the people here still live in caves.
Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois
7. We’d be pretty bummed if someone told us we’d be moving here.
The Baha’i Temple, Wilmette, Illinois
8. Mordor would be infinitely better.
Blackjack Road, Illinois
9. Like, how many neighbors can one have in the entire state? Twelve?
Buckingham Fountain, Chicago, Illinois
10. People here must be bored out of their wits most of the time.
Navy Pier, Chicago, Illinois
11. They probably count sheep to pass time. Like, literally.
Chicago Theater, Chicago, Illinois
12. Can you even name one famous person from here?
From top left, clockwise: Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, Hillary Clinton, Walt Disney, Miles Davis, Ernest Hemingway.
13. Stop trying. You know you can’t.
From top left, clockwise: Patti Smith, Robin Williams, Harrison Ford, Gillian Jacobs, Bill Murray, Cindy Crawford.
14. It’s a complete waste of 36 thousand acres of land.
Waukegan, Illinois
15. This place is just… boo.
Chicago Harbor Lighthouse, Lake Michigan, Chicago, Illinois
16. Spare yourself the unnecessary suffering…
Clark Bridge, Alton, Illinois
17. And stay away, okay?
Greater Chicago Metropolitan Area (NASA, taken from the International Space Station, 02/02/12)