Hallmark cards are cliche, expensive jewelry will burn a massive hole in your pocket, and floral bouquets have an expiration period of a few days before they start wilting into a smelly, ugly mess. Unless your girl’s a scrapbooking goddess, we recommend a more lasting token of your affection.
So what else is there to give the love of your life? Read on, Romeos and Juliets.
1. Silicone wine glasses for the clumsy S.O.
Also perfect for throwing at each other during fits of anger (but don’t forget to kiss and make up afterwards!) Buy them here.
2. A watch that’s either a form of passive-aggressive retaliation, or brutal honesty.
Because giving him a Rolex probably won’t make him more punctual. Available here.
3. A bronze bust of Ron Swanson.
Trust me, anyone who’s ever watched Parks & Rec will drink the blood of an Eagltonian for this baby.
4. A spatula with LED lights for grilling under the stars.
If your S.O. is the type of man who’ll do an all-night barbecue, this is for him. Get it here.
5. A T-shirt that reminds you of your priorities.
Because pizza is the answer. To everything ever. Buy this badass here.
6. Lego heart necklaces.
Because regular jewelry is so mainstream. Hurry, buy this couple necklace before anyone else does.
7. A charming card for all types of personalities.
If your lover is a power-hungry King of the Jungle. Figuratively speaking.
8. Seriously, even for the minorities.
Or a cute and huggable cephalopod (in which case, you probably get the best hugs).
9. A card for when no one can express your feelings better than cats can.
I luff you elebenty one times fur-evur. Buy demz here.
10. A pack of two scalp massagers.
Another couple-y thing you can do while watching a movie on the couch. Available here.
11. A mask for the light sleeper.
“I said not tonight, Jolene! Don’t make me say it, for cryin’ out loud!” Available here.
12. Bob Ross painting tutorials.
Why? Maybe you mean WHY NOT. Buy it here.
13. A pouch for warming pajamas.
Cuddling will never be the same again.
14. “After all this time?”
There is no greater love than this.
15. The world’s largest Scrabble game.
For when you’re both really, really into the game… which is telling of your coolness and straight-up badassery.
16. Or a smaller version for the busy couple.
You are no longer limited to a table and ample amounts of time. You can play Scrabble even on the go! Get it here.
17. A sassy luggage tag for the traveler. *snap*
Because their luggage should have lots of personality… just like them.
18. Han and Leia bath towels.
When two geeks live together, their combined geekness overflows onto even the smallest things.
19. A selfie toaster. What.
Sometimes your S.O. is so cute, you just wanna eat them up.
20. Fox knickers.
Better than Victoria’s Secret lingerie. You won’t be able to stop yourself from pinching its cheeks!
21. A “life” mug.
Because how can you save the Princess without your health?