A sexuality expert sparked a debate among parents with her assertion that permission should be sought from a baby before changing their diaper.
Although babies cannot verbally communicate, Deanne Carson suggests that infants can still convey their approval or disapproval through non-verbal cues, indicating their comfort with being changed.
Deanne made these comments during an ABC News segment in 2018, which elicited a predictable range of reactions.
She proposed that parents should ask their baby ‘if it’s okay’ before proceeding with a diaper change.
“Of course the baby is not going to respond ‘yes mum, that’s awesome. I’d love to have my nappy changed’,” Deanne acknowledged.
“But if you leave a space, and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact, then you’re letting that child know that their response matters.”
However, she did not clarify what steps parents should take if the baby’s non-verbal cues indicated a refusal, raising concerns about the baby being left in a soiled diaper until they ‘consented’, which is far from ideal.
It’s no surprise that many parents found Deanne’s views controversial and impractical.
One Twitter user commented: “Either she has never wrestled a toddler during a change or worse, she just left hers in a sh*tty nappy until it was ready to consent.”
Another person described the idea as ‘seemingly absurd’.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” another user fumed. “A child relies on their parent to take care of them and that includes personal hygiene! Especially as toddlers and babies.”
Meanwhile, some social media users agreed on the importance of teaching consent but felt Deanne’s approach was excessive.
“I’ve never been so confused in my life. Teaching children consent is 100% important but come on,” one person remarked.
A few years following Deanne’s viral interview, a prominent childcare chain appeared to adopt a similar stance, encouraging parents to ask for their child’s permission before changing their diaper.
Staff from Only About Children centres advised parents to seek ‘co-operation’ during diaper changes.
“Ask for your baby’s help, talk them through what you are doing and encourage the use of senses,” the advice stated, as reported by The Herald Sun.
“When toddlers become mobile, nappy changing may look quite different. Continue to ask for co-operation but understand that your toddler may wish to now stand for their nappy change.
“Also to encourage their independence, you may ask him [or her] to take off his own nappy or wipe himself.”
Interesting…