A specialist in relationships has shed light on some signs indicating a partner might be a narcissist, and you’ll be surprised to know how frequently they might use certain phrases.
Most people have an ex they’d rather not remember, but there could be a specific reason for the breakup that hasn’t been considered.
In an article for Psychology Today, psychotherapist Erin Leonard discusses phrases commonly used by narcissists in relationships and explains their potentially harmful impact.
Although they may initially seem compassionate or well-meaning, these phrases can be subtle tools for undermining or manipulating you.
Leonard cautions if your partner frequently uses these phrases or similar ones, they might possess strong narcissistic traits. Understanding this dynamic is crucial to avoid being manipulated, according to the expert.
She also advises that having a plan to leave the relationship might be necessary.
Regarding the first phrase, Leonard explains: ‘I am sorry you feel that way.’ While this response might appear polite, a deeper analysis shows that the partner is distancing themselves from understanding your feelings by labeling them as solely belonging to you.”
By doing this, they sidestep any obligation to acknowledge your emotions, suggesting a lack of empathy or interest in your perspective.
Leonard points out that more empathetic responses would validate your feelings, even in disagreement.
Some examples of these empathetic phrases include: “You are mad. I get it. I’m not sure why, but I want to understand, or you are hurt. I understand. But, honey, it was just a giant miscommunication.”
Leonard goes on to explain: “If the phrase ‘you have anger issues’ comes up during a disagreement, it could indicate an attempt by your partner to shift the blame.”
“A narcissistic partner often deflects and projects, meaning they avoid self-reflection and instead blame you. Being unjustly accused when you’re not at fault can be infuriating.”
While it’s normal to feel frustrated or upset, the relationship expert warns that narcissists might use these emotions against their partner.
Explaining the third phrase, Leonard writes: “‘you ruined it’ may be how a narcissistic partner attempts to make you feel guilty. They often react with shock and indignation when you raise issues in the relationship or tell them they’ve hurt you. They might become excessively dramatic or withdraw and refuse communication.”
This phrase may be particularly surprising, but it indicates that the partner is signaling you shouldn’t question their behavior.
It also allows them to induce guilt over legitimate concerns, causing you to question your own feelings and giving them more control.
If you’ve heard any of these phrases from a partner, it might be time to reconsider the future of the relationship.