A young woman from Anderson, South Carolina, who lost her sight after gouging out her own eyes, expresses that she is ‘happier’ more than six years after the incident.
Kaylee Muthart was a top student before a drug-induced psychotic episode led to her permanent blindness. At 20 years old, Kaylee, diagnosed with bipolar disorder, began using drugs like marijuana and ecstasy. A particular high at age 19 was different when a friend gave her a joint laced with crystal meth.
Her addiction escalated from smoking to injecting meth. She shared with Cosmopolitan, “I’d long been a religious Christian; the high made me feel particularly close to God.”
While high, she studied the Bible, believing meth would strengthen her connection to God. Despite attempts to quit and plans to enter rehab, a turning point came when she injected contaminated meth in February 2018. This led to her removing her eyes with her hands.
Reflecting on the event, she stated, “I remember thinking that someone had to sacrifice something important to right the world, and that person was me.”
She was outside the South Main Chapel and Mercy Center when she harmed herself, found by the church pastor screaming ‘I want to see the light’ with her eyes in her hands.
Kaylee was quickly airlifted to Greenville Memorial Hospital’s trauma unit, where doctors performed surgery to remove the remnants of her eyes, leaving her completely blind.
Years later, at 26, Kaylee describes her life as improved compared to before her vision loss.
She said, “Of course there are times when I get really upset about my situation, particularly on nights when I can’t fall asleep. But truthfully, I’m happier now than I was before all this happened. I’d rather be blind than dependent on drugs.”
The incident propelled her into rehabilitation, leading her to quit drugs entirely.
In 2020, she received prosthetic eyes and maintains an optimistic outlook. “Activities I used to enjoy, like playing guitar and learning piano, are…harder now that I’m blind, but I’m still optimistic. When I stub my toe or my knee, I think, ‘Well, it probably saved me from walking into a wall and hitting my face’.”
For confidential advice about drugs, you can contact American Addiction Centers at (313) 209-9137, available 24/7, or reach out through their website.