Dr. Lilly Jay has recently come into the public eye for reasons beyond her professional achievements.
She is known as the former spouse of Ethan Slater, who is currently dating Ariana Grande. Dr. Jay is a clinical psychologist with a focus on perinatal mental health, helping new mothers deal with challenges encountered during pregnancy or in the initial year after childbirth.
Jay’s private life was thrust into the spotlight when her ex-husband left her and began a relationship with the pop star, despite her previous efforts to remain anonymous to benefit her clients, including removing her social media presence at 18.
Faced with this unexpected public attention, she penned a 1,807-word personal essay for The Cut, where she expressed her struggle with the ongoing promotion of a film that reminds her of difficult times. This film, “Wicked,” is where Grande and Slater first crossed paths.
“No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way, we don’t board a plane expecting to crash. But I really never thought I would get divorced,” she shares.
“Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.
“In this season of shock and mourning, over a year after the end of my marriage was made public, I deeply miss the life of invisibility I created for myself as a psychologist specializing in women’s mental health.”
Jay relates her current situation as a single parent to the experiences faced by many of her patients, although her child is in good health.
“I confidently moved to another country with my 2-month-old baby and my husband to support his career. Consumed by the magic and mundanity of new motherhood, I didn’t understand the growing distance between us,” Jay revealed.
She further explains, “In the countless hours I spend rocking my son to sleep, pushing his stroller, marveling at his sweaty little hands grasping a crayon, I work diligently on my private project of accepting the sudden public downfall of my marriage. This, I tell myself, is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide.
“Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high-school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child.”
Jay also notes how she and Slater, who were married for six years from 2018 to 2024, both greatly love their son, though their parenting time is divided.
“If I can’t be invisible anymore, I may as well introduce myself,” she concludes.