A new British television series has turned the spotlight on adults navigating personal challenges with physical intimacy. Among the participants is Ben Harris, a 31-year-old civil servant who joined the Channel 4 production “Virgin Island,” which follows twelve individuals during their stay at an upscale Mediterranean resort.
The program documents these participants as they work through personal barriers to physical relationships with guidance from relationship specialists. A recently released segment shows Harris participating in an intimacy workshop with one of the show’s therapeutic consultants, with positive engagement between them.
Prior to this interaction, Harris shared insights about his methodical approach to dating experiences. “It’s gonna sound quite sad, but it’s true. I’ve got a spreadsheet on my PC at home of just like every date I’ve been on. I see dating in the same way a football manager would see their team,” he revealed to the production team.
“I like to analyze things and see what I can do better,” he added, demonstrating his systematic approach to personal growth in this area.
While the televised segment shows Harris successfully engaging with the workshop facilitator, he has been forthcoming about the deeper origins of his hesitation with intimacy. In a personal essay published in The Times, Harris traced his challenges back to difficult experiences during his school years.
“The vast majority of the bullying I suffered was at the hands of other boys, but it nonetheless instilled within me this belief that despite my decent intellect, I was physically repulsive to women especially, and that no sane girl could possibly find me attractive,” he wrote, revealing the lasting psychological impact of those formative experiences.
Harris explained that he didn’t begin actively dating until his twenties. Despite these efforts and even establishing romantic relationships on two occasions, he has continued to encounter internal barriers to furthering physical intimacy. His essay noted that early 2023 marked a personal milestone with initial romantic physical contact, though he acknowledged ongoing hesitation with progressing further.
The documentary series continues to follow Harris and his fellow participants as they work through their individual journeys with the support of relationship professionals in the Mediterranean setting.