An individual regarded as a ‘swinging expert’ has provided insights into the scientific and psychological aspects of the lifestyle, coinciding with the story of a couple who established their own venture to connect with new partners. However, gaining access to this initiative comes with specific conditions.
Swinging authority and psychology professor Dr. Edward Fernandes delved into the realm of swinging in a special guest blog for Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, where he elaborated on his extensive, scientific research on the topic conducted over the years.
Fernandes shared his expertise as Tanya and Ashley Marum, a married couple, revealed personal details about their relationship while discussing the swingers club they initiated after a proposition from a friend led them to explore group activities.
Tanya mentioned that the suggestion ‘initiated a conversation’ and it ‘evolved from there’, eventually leading the couple to organize bi-monthly gatherings for other like-minded young individuals seeking new sexual encounters.
Nevertheless, the club enforces a stipulation – no ‘unattractive’ individuals are permitted entry.
Ashley clarified: “I don’t want people there who the majority would think are unattractive. We want to try to get people to come that they might not be your type but they’re nice looking and take care of themselves.”
Despite the debatable admission criteria, the couple reports having ‘300+ people’ participate in their events.
They have described their choice to embrace swinging as ‘one of the best decisions we’ve made’ – so what are the scientific underpinnings of this decision?
In his blog, Dr. Fernandes noted that most swingers he examined were either married or living together, having been involved in swinging for durations ranging from ‘three years to 12 years’.
According to the psychologist, this indicates that ‘swinging, overall, contributes to the durability of the marital relationship’.
Supporting this observation, Ashley stated: “There’s 100% trust and you understand what each other likes more than anything and you want each other to be as happy as possible. You don’t get that very often in a normal relationship.”
Fernandes discovered that both men and women primarily cited their motivations for swinging as ‘pure sexual variety, sexual enjoyment and personal fantasy’. Nonetheless, he found that swingers are ‘very happy in their marriages’, and generally maintain ‘strong emotional bonds with their spouses’ and ‘strong family units’.
Regarding bedroom satisfaction, Fernandes remarked: “Moreover, my respondents claim that their spouses are able to satisfy them sexually: Swinging to them is a way of adding spice and variety to the marriage itself, sort of the “icing on the cake” (some even referred to swing as “team sport”, or “the couple that plays together remains together”).”
Analyzing his findings, Fernandes refuted the notion that ‘swingers have unsatisfactory marriages and are unhappy with their primary relationships’, stating: “There is no evidence to support such a claim.”
“My research suggests that perhaps we are witnessing a new social paradigm regarding the dynamics of marriage and consensual extra-marital sex,” he continued.
“It is possible that swinging is bringing about a re-definition of marriage and a change in the traditional expectation of marital monogamy.”