Experts have highlighted some key expressions that could enhance your marriage significantly.
Balancing your social life, career, and possibly children, along with nurturing your relationship, is quite a challenge. Achieving equilibrium is crucial, as commonly advised.
Even when you feel like you need a break, micromanaging your partner’s actions might inadvertently increase your workload.
The British Psychological Society points out that women often bear the majority of the ‘mental load’ in a relationship, largely due to the uneven distribution of household responsibilities.
Research conducted by the universities of Bath and Melbourne indicates that 71 percent of women with children in the US manage most household duties compared to 45 percent of fathers. This discrepancy is particularly noticeable in daily tasks like childcare and cleaning, with women handling 79 percent while men manage 37 percent.
Nevertheless, in the study, mothers frequently reported an unbalanced share of household duties, whereas fathers believed the division was fair.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the ‘mental load,’ experts recommend incorporating this particular phrase into your conversations.
Jessica Koosed Etting, the founder and CEO of Jam, has shared insights on reducing the mental load, highlighting a crucial phrase: “Can you take the mental lead on this one?”
This phrase might seem like an easy way out when you need a moment to yourself, but it can have a broader positive impact.
Dr. Montminy, a behavioral scientist and author of Finding Focus, joined Etting in an interview with PureWow, emphasizing that the ‘invisible load’ isn’t just about counting who performs household chores more often.
She stated, “The invisible load isn’t just about scheduling, it’s about holding the responsibility in your head. By asking your partner to take the mental lead, you’re not just delegating tasks; you’re shifting ownership.
“It signals: ‘I trust you to carry this, not just execute it’. That small shift in language can rebalance the mental load and create a real partnership.”
Now that you understand what to say, consider avoiding the phrase: “It’s easier to just do it myself.”
Although this might be your instinctive reaction, reconsider before speaking, as such negative remarks can worsen the imbalance causing your fatigue.
Etting notes that such a statement can discourage your partner from taking on tasks, intensifying your mental exhaustion in the long run.
Instead, it’s advisable to express appreciation and communicate positively about how their actions make you feel, like when your partner finally takes out the trash.
Etting remarked, “We’re more inclined to stick to a habit if we know someone is counting on us.”