In today’s era, where social media dominates our lives, sharing moments with our loved ones has become a norm as we go about our daily routines.
However, while some find joy in couple photos, others view them as a nuisance, leading many women to avoid posting about their partners on social media altogether.
For some women, the change is subtle. They might share glimpses of their partner through ambiguous photos, like a hand on the wheel or an unrecognizable silhouette.
Others have taken it a step further, completely removing their boyfriends from their online presence, with some even editing wedding photos to maintain a sense of mystery around their partner.
So, why are more women choosing to keep their boyfriends out of their social media narratives? Is it due to embarrassment, or is there a deeper reason?
An article in Vogue recently explored this topic, with writer and activist Zoé Samudzi stating: “They want the prize and celebration of partnership, but understand the norminess of it.”
Essentially, Zoé suggests that women seek recognition for being in a relationship but also desire to assert their individuality beyond their partner. Many single women support this movement to maintain their identities separate from their relationships.
Chanté Joseph, an author, writes: “Being partnered doesn’t affirm your womanhood anymore; it is no longer considered an achievement, and, if anything, it’s become more of a flex to pronounce yourself single.
“Obviously, there’s no shame in falling in love. But there’s also no shame in trying and failing to find it—or not trying at all. And as long as we’re openly rethinking and criticizing heteronormativity, ‘having a boyfriend’ will remain a somewhat fragile, or even contentious, concept within public life.”
The choice to keep boyfriends off social media isn’t just about image; some women believe it might ‘ruin’ a relationship by exposing it to the ‘evil eye,’ or jealousy, potentially leading to its downfall.
On the Delusional Diaries podcast, influencers Halley and Jaz discussed how having a visible boyfriend now seems ‘lame’.
This sparked numerous comments from listeners, with one suggesting that ‘having a boyfriend typically takes hits on a woman’s aura’.
For female influencers, sharing photos of their boyfriend could also impact their earnings, as some report losing followers when they reveal their relationship status, making it less about embarrassment and more about financial stability.
Since the article’s release on Wednesday, October 29, numerous women worldwide have shared their opinions online, with many supporting the idea of keeping boyfriends away from the spotlight.
“Just saw an article that was titled ‘is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?’ And yes. Yes it is. In fact it’s an humiliation ritual,” one user posted on X.
“Vogue’s new article on how embarrassing it is to have a bf is hilarious bc it’s so true. There’s really no good reason to be with a man
unless you’re prepared to tolerate their bad behaviors.,” commented another.
A third user noted: “We are in a world where our online identities are centered around lives of our partners. You share something and suddenly, your partner becomes the talk.. Say if you mention that you are sad, they will suddenly attribute it to your partner.”
However, not everyone agrees. One X user argued: “Having a boyfriend is not embarrassing, your male centeredness is! The problem is that too many of you lose yourselves in these relationships. Then, once you’re single, realize your mistakes. But, instead of unlearning heteronormative patriarchal norms, you blame love.”
Another added: “The Vogue article suggesting that having a boyfriend is embarrassing or makes you less empowered is not it. Feminism is about women uplifting women, single, partnered, or otherwise. Shaming women for being in relationships is just another way to divide, not unite us!”