A sex therapist has shared insights into some of the most common queries she gets, including how often couples should be engaging in sex.
For many, sex is an enjoyable aspect of a healthy, committed relationship, allowing partners to physically express their affection. Nonetheless, it’s not uncommon for individuals to become anxious about their sex life at some point, whether in or out of a relationship.
There are scientific aspects to consider, such as age, and numerous experts provide advice on enhancing your intimate life.
Sex therapist Charlene Douglas has offered her professional perspective on what constitutes a healthy sexual relationship and how frequently the average couple tends to engage in intimacy.
In a conversation with LADbible Stories during an Honesty Box session, Douglas discussed some of the common questions she encounters when people learn about her line of work.
She explained: “So oftentimes, I’ll go to a bar and people will find out that I’m a sex therapist and they’ll say to me, ‘How many times should you really be having sex like in a week?’
“And they’re all waiting for my answer. Everyone leans in waiting for me to give that number to work out whether they’re in the normal range or not.”
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She mentioned that, ‘statistically speaking,’ once a week is the typical frequency for most couples. This is supported by scientific research, such as a sexual lifestyle survey by Natsal-3, indicating that couples in long-term relationships engage in sex about once a week.
To alleviate concerns about being below average, Douglas added a note of reassurance.
She emphasized: “That average can go up or down depending on stress, depending on finances, and depending on what is going on in your life, it could mean that that might change.
“If you’re not having sex in your relationship, it doesn’t mean it’s all doom and gloom. It might just be that you need to have a conversation if that is something that’s important for you.”
Conversely, other sex experts, such as Mariàn Martínez, challenge the notion of a ‘normal amount,’ as she explained to Women’s Health that ‘comparing yourself to any number is pointless.’
In addition to discussing sexual frequency, Douglas highlighted the importance of communication with a partner. She stressed that trust, loyalty, and boundaries are essential, as well as creating an environment where individuals don’t feel “judged, criticized, disrespected, or belittled.”