Thinking about someone other than your partner during intimate moments is more common than many might anticipate.
A survey conducted by Superdrug Online Doctor revealed that nearly 67 percent of men believe their partners may fantasize about others, compared to 74 percent of women.
For those who find themselves imagining someone else during these moments, it doesn’t necessarily signal a troubled relationship.
Interestingly, four out of five individuals who fantasize reported being satisfied or very satisfied with their partners.
However, satisfaction levels appeared higher among those who did not fantasize. Among non-fantasizers, 60 percent reported being ‘very satisfied’ in their relationships, compared to only 35.4 percent of fantasizers who felt the same.
Personally, the thought of a partner contemplating another person during intimate moments isn’t particularly appealing…
Sex consultant Julia Stein shares six indicators that your partner might be thinking of someone else during intimacy.
Stein emphasizes that eye contact is a powerful connection tool.
“When someone consistently looks away or keeps their eyes shut, they might be visualizing a different scenario or person,” Stein mentioned to Cosmopolitan.
She further noted, “If they specifically avoid eye contact during moments that used to feel most intimate, that’s particularly significant.”
“When the emotional warmth disappears, it often means their thoughts are focused somewhere else,” she said.
Post-intimacy behavior can also be revealing. Stein pointed out: “You might notice they don’t initiate affection afterwards. That means no cuddling, no pillow talk, just a quick retreat.”
If your partner suddenly expresses a desire to try something specific without prior discussion, this might suggest they are trying to recreate a fantasy involving someone else.
Stein notes that exploring new interests can be positive. “If someone gradually explores new interests through conversation and mutual discovery, that’s healthy growth,” she explained. “But if they suddenly demand something specific with urgency or insistence, it suggests they’ve been thinking about it extensively, possibly in the context of someone else.”
Fluctuations in a partner’s energy levels during intimacy can indicate preoccupations with other thoughts.
Stein explained: “They might seem disconnected one moment and overly intense the next, as though they’re trying to compensate for something.”
She added: “Sometimes partners become more aggressive or distant as a way of separating the physical act from emotional connection. They might be using the encounter to play out a fantasy rather than connect with you.”
When a partner seems to be following a predetermined script rather than engaging naturally, it might indicate they are working through a fantasy.
Stein commented, “It’s like they’re following a script that exists in their imagination rather than responding naturally to the moment you’re sharing.”
Quick, rushed intimate encounters could also be a warning sign if they become the norm, according to Stein.
She stated, “A partner who’s mentally present typically wants to linger in the moment, not escape it as quickly as possible.”