A woman is feeling disillusioned after her decade-long relationship concluded unexpectedly.
Ending a relationship is never straightforward. Regardless of age, whether you’re in your late teens, mid-twenties, or nearing 70, break-ups are challenging for everyone involved. This particular woman is especially disheartened, feeling she has spent her prime ‘childbearing years’ with a partner who ultimately left her.
Now 34, the anonymous woman expresses feeling ‘ready for marriage and parenthood but unexpectedly single and emotionally devastated.’
In a letter seeking advice from The Telegraph’s Moral Money column, she shared: “I have been in a relationship for just over 10 years with a guy I had hoped to marry. He called it off a few months ago.
“I am moving from heartbroken and incapable of functioning to trying to work out how to put my life back together.”
Sharing more about her ex’s perspective, she explained: “He tells me he feels, at 38, as though he still has a decade of enjoying his lifestyle and powering through with his career and is not ready for marriage and children, but he knows it has become a priority for me – so he is off!”
She further expressed the sentiment that her ex ‘owes her big time’ and desires financial compensation.
In the aftermath of the break-up, the woman is not yet ready to enter the dating scene but remains eager to become a mother. With a sense of urgency about her biological clock, she is considering IVF as a means to start a family.
This procedure, however, is expensive, and she believes her former partner should cover the cost, though he disagrees.
“He does not agree that he has any obligation to help with the financial burden of extending my childbearing capabilities even though he has always known how important it is to me to have children,” she wrote.
“He even cited the fact that he knows time is running out as the reason he ended the relationship.”
She concluded her letter with: “I feel like he stole my childbearing years. Surely he should have some responsibility for helping me mitigate the damage to our plans caused by his change of heart and broken promises?”
Sam Secomb, a columnist for The Telegraph, responded with the unfortunate news that because they were never married, she has ‘no rights to financial redress for the years of emotional or practical support you gave in service of your shared plans’.
“That does not mean you are powerless,” Secomb advised, encouraging her to ‘ensure the financial disentanglement of the flat is managed carefully’.
“Do not rush into signing anything or agreeing to a buyout without legal advice,” she recommended. “This is the one tangible asset where your rights are clear and it could be a critical foundation for your future.”