If you’re curious about how skilled you are in the bedroom, there are nine clear indicators that could provide some insight.
A range of sex experts have shared their insights, offering what might be considered the nine essential guidelines for being great in bed—something that might even be useful knowledge for young adults just entering adulthood.
If we took cues from porn, we might think that being good at sex involves trying a multitude of positions or pretending to be a plumber or pizza delivery driver.
However, experts emphasize that real sexual proficiency is less about technique and more about the emotional connection, communication, and awareness with your partner.
According to Metro, there are nine signs that indicate you’re quite competent in the bedroom. The publication consulted various sex and relationship professionals to compile these insights. So if you’re keen to find out if you possess the skills to leave your partner eager for more, just keep reading!
One of the most straightforward signs is making your partner feel safe, desired, listened to, and completely involved, as noted by Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationships expert at Lovehoney.
If your partner shows interest in a repeat performance, it’s likely you’re doing something right.
Sex is not a sprint, as Gigi Engle, a sex and relationships psychotherapist at 3Fun, highlighted: “Great lovers aren’t chasing orgasms like they’re the end-all-be-all for being good at sex.” Instead, it’s about ‘pacing, curiosity, and staying attuned to our partner’s pleasure’.
Being knowledgeable about every sex position isn’t necessary to be proficient in bed. Knight pointed out: “Being present, engaged, and clearly interested is often more attractive than any specific move or technique.”
Enthusiasm—whether physical or verbal—helps reassure your partner that they’re desired.
While porn often emphasizes quick action, genuine intimacy usually benefits from taking things slow.
“Comfort with slowing down is an underrated sign of sexual skill,” Engle mentioned, noting that taking your time builds trust and allows for a deeper connection, which significantly enhances pleasure.
When you ask your partner about their preferences, it’s crucial to act on their feedback. Knight explains: “The most reliable signal isn’t what you think happened afterwards, it’s whether your partner felt comfortable enough to be honest in the moment.”
Some things may not be explicitly stated. However, if you’re well-attuned to your partner, Knight says you can detect tension, hesitation, relaxation, and enthusiasm, and make real-time adjustments.
Your reaction to a ‘no’ is significant.
“One of the clearest signs you’re good in bed is how you respond to a ‘no’. If you can take feedback gracefully, you’re definitely flying above the grade sexually,” Engle explained.
Boundaries foster trust, not rejection.
Handling pauses or changes in arousal without taking it personally helps create a safe space, according to Engle.
“Confidence in bed isn’t acting or fake,” she advises, adding: “And it makes you better at sex!”
Engle elaborates: “People who are good in bed understand that sex doesn’t end the moment everyone gets off.”
Whether it’s through cuddling or checking in, aftercare is ‘not an optional add-on’ to the experience.
Not every sexual encounter will be perfect, and compatibility always plays a role. Nonetheless, if many of these signs resonate with you, it’s likely that you’re more skilled in the bedroom than you might think.