Bryan Johnson has puzzled many with his highly specific and unusual account of reuniting with his girlfriend.
Known as a biohacker, Johnson has gained notoriety for his attempts to reverse his biological age, reportedly spending $2,000,000 annually on this pursuit.
In a recent announcement, Johnson predicted that he would attain immortality by 2039, though he admitted he is still uncertain about how he will achieve this goal.
Johnson frequently shares intimate glimpses into his personal life online, including his romantic relationships. Earlier in December, he introduced the world to his new girlfriend, Kate Tolo.
“I’ve wanted this my entire life and impatiently waited 25 years for it to arrive. It’s better than anything I imagined,” he expressed on Instagram regarding his relationship with Kate.
Recently, he divulged some personal moments about their reunion after spending nearly three weeks apart.
In a lengthy tweet, part of an 850-word message, Johnson wrote: “It’s been 19 days and 20 hrs since I last felt Kate’s warm embrace. She landed 47 minutes ago. The 24 hours of travel no doubt has her rushing to shower.”
“She needs to cleanse herself of a dirtied world incompatible with her sensibilities. The wash doubles as a ritual, preparatory for entrance into the symbolic world we’ve constructed,” he continued.
Describing their meeting, he added: “I slip my hand under her shirt and brush the small of her back. Goosebumps spread like a wildfire across her body. Her hypothalamus stimulates the release of GnRH, which tells the pituitary gland to wake up her reproductive system.”
“Our olfactory systems consume each other with delight, signaling immune system compatibility.”
If you wish to read the full narrative, you can find it here. Prepare yourself for an experience that blends scientific jargon with a flair reminiscent of romantic fiction such as Bridgerton.
Johnson’s detailed account of his encounter with Kate has sparked mixed reactions online.
It’s been 19 days and 20 hrs since I last felt Kate’s warm embrace. She landed 47 minutes ago. The 24 hours of travel no doubt has her rushing to shower. She needs to cleanse herself of a dirtied world incompatible with her sensibilities. The wash doubles as a ritual, preparatory… pic.twitter.com/Ozd0uz0Cx2
— Bryan Johnson (@bryan_johnson) December 30, 2025
“This is actually the weirdest thing I’ve ever read,” commented one individual, adding, “Just incredibly odd.”
Another person remarked, “I need a minute,” while a third humorously said, “This reads like 50 Shades of Grey Matter.”
Some have even suggested Johnson explore writing in the realm of erotic literature, with one Twitter user saying, “Have you considered writing spicy novels for nerds?”
Another person labeled his post as ‘science erotica’.
That’s about all I can handle from the internet today, thank you.