According to experts, there are eight distinct types of sex that couples should experience to maintain a healthy and evolving relationship.
For many couples, maintaining a sexual connection is a key component of a successful partnership. This connection can vary in importance depending on the couple, and Elizabeth Johnson from Counselling Directory suggests that changes in the sexual relationship are normal over time.
As reported by Stylist, Johnson pointed out that changes in a sexual relationship aren’t necessarily negative, as relationships naturally evolve. She explained, “It’s common for sex to be spontaneous, fun and frequent in the beginning of a relationship and for this to change as the relationship develops over time. But it doesn’t mean the sex has to stop or become a chore.”
The report, which gathered insights from several sex therapists, identified eight types of sex that can keep a relationship vibrant in the bedroom.
Despite its name, one type, termed “maintenance sex,” does not involve any roleplay or the inclusion of external figures in the bedroom. Experts emphasize the importance of maintaining intimacy even as sexual frequency may decrease over time.
Psychosexual therapist Kate Moyle highlights that sustaining sexual intimacy is crucial, not by adhering to a strict schedule but by ensuring it remains a priority amidst life’s distractions. She says, “It’s not about there being pressure to have sex at certain regularity, but about prioritizing and sustaining this part of your relationship at times when it’s easy for it to feel like it gets lost in among everything else that’s going on in life.”
It’s crucial, however, to ensure not all sexual encounters are categorized as ‘maintenance sex.’ This type of sex can be particularly healing after an argument or a period apart, acting as a reset for the relationship. Therapist Catherine Doble describes it as a means of repair and reconnection, saying, “This kind of sex can be about repair and connection. It’s an action that can be used to say ‘I missed you’ or ‘I’m angry about this argument, but I still love you and want to be connected with you’.”
Long-term relationships can sometimes become predictable, which is why introducing novelty is beneficial. This type of sex brings a fresh dynamic to the relationship, offering a dopamine boost and allowing partners to see each other from a new perspective.
Spicing things up, as Moyle explains, involves being playful and curious, crucial elements that can be overshadowed by everyday life. Scheduled intimacy, while not inherently spontaneous, can still be significant for couples with busy lives, offering something to anticipate.
Doble mentions, “Couples can get excited about the date, and the anticipation can be a turn-on for many people.” However, it’s essential to vary these encounters to prevent them from becoming too routine.
In any relationship, making your partner feel appreciated and desired is vital. Long-term relationships can sometimes lead to feelings of being undervalued, which can escalate into feeling undesired and distant.
Engaging in appreciation sex can counteract these feelings by demonstrating value and attentiveness to your partner’s needs. Moyle comments on this by saying, “Sex and physical intimacy can be a way for partners to show each other that they care. It’s the crossover between affection and intimacy, and its not so much about the act of what you’re doing as much as it is about affection and recognition.”
Desire is another element that should not be overlooked. Moyle suggests this type of sex can offer an ‘erotic boost or charge,’ especially when familiarity sets in. She adds, “It doesn’t have to look like it does on Netflix, but the feel of throwing everything else to one side will help with the feeling like this is the most important thing in this moment.”
Even within happy relationships, addressing the occasional absence of sex is crucial. Regardless of the cause, reconnecting sexually after a break can be a welcome experience. This form of sex acknowledges the ups and downs in relationships while reaffirming the desire for one another.
Moyle notes, “This might look different at different times, phases and stages of your relationship, and that’s totally expected. Our motivations for sex can be dependent on what else we have going on at the time.”
A final type is celebratory sex, which can enhance significant moments or milestones, amplifying feelings of passion and desire. Moyle explains, “Sharing in something joyful and personal can be a real boost for connection and desire when alongside the feeling of an emotional high.”