A well-known relationship expert has shared her insights on how much sex she believes couples should ideally be having, and the number might surprise you.
For many individuals, maintaining an active and satisfying sex life is a crucial component for a strong and enduring relationship.
However, it’s important to recognize that this isn’t a universal standard, and the importance of sex can vary greatly among different couples. What truly matters is finding the balance that keeps both partners content.
According to Dr. Nicole McNichols, a professor specializing in human sexuality at the University of Washington, there is a recommended frequency for couples when it comes to weekly sexual activity.
She has previously highlighted that in most scenarios, sexual satisfaction often leads to overall relationship satisfaction.
During an episode of the New York Times’ Modern Love podcast, Dr. McNichols explained, “If you look at couples over time who are asked to keep daily diaries of how satisfied they feel in their relationships and what their mental well-being is—including how happy and satisfied with life they feel overall, and how satisfying their sex life is— what you see is that when an uptick in sexual satisfaction occurs, the joy and satisfaction in the relationship follows.”
She emphasized that couples shouldn’t feel pressured to engage in sexual activity constantly.
For those who can sustain a higher frequency, more power to them, but she noted that the ideal frequency for intimacy is around once a week.
Dr. McNichols elaborated, “When we look at the benefit of sex to relationship well-being, it doesn’t increase after about once a week. That’s not an astronomical amount of time.”
She also pointed out that frequency shouldn’t be the sole focus, suggesting that introducing new elements into a couple’s intimate life once a month can be advantageous.
Dr. McNichols added, “It does not need to mean that you’re going to a sex shop and buying a bunch of leather and buying a nurse outfit. That’s fantastic if you want to try that. But it can be having sex in a different room, having sex while you’re on vacation, having sex at a different time of day than you normally do, having sex, that is, with all the lights on, having sex with the lights off. It really is about owning your own particular brand of what makes you come to a sexual situation feeling empowered to show up, assert your own needs, communicate, and have a mutually pleasurable experience.”