Kissing is an art form that people are either naturally skilled at or struggle with, and it’s not often you get feedback on which camp you fall into.
From awkwardly timed pecks to teeth collisions, excessive saliva, or an overly eager tongue, there is a certain finesse to kissing that not everyone seems to master.
However, you don’t have to resign yourself to being less than stellar at this intimate act, which often serves as a precursor to deeper connection in relationships.
Annabelle Knight, a couples coach and psychosexual therapist, who also serves as Lovehoney’s resident relationship expert, shared insights with Metro on how to determine if you are good or bad at kissing.
Annabelle explained: “A kiss should be so much more than two lips meeting; it should involve the closeness of bodies, the holding of one another and hands exploring each other.
“If you find yourself in a position where you’re ‘penguin kissing’ – i.e. hands down by the sides – then you’re not doing anyone any favours.”
She suggests instead of standing awkwardly, you should take hold of the other person, whether by their face or waist, to create a stronger connection and enhance the mood.
As winter approaches, it’s important that your partner doesn’t feel like they’re leaning in to kiss a rough surface.
Keep your lips soft with some ChapStick!
While it’s common for lips to get dry or chapped occasionally, neglecting them can mean you’re less likely to be remembered as a great kisser.
When engaging in kissing, ideally you and your partner should be in tune, mirroring each other’s movements to ensure a seamless connection without awkward collisions.
If you find that you’re mimicking each other’s moves too closely, it can disrupt the moment.
She advises: “If, when going in for a kiss, it feels like there is a mime opposite you, leaning the same way, then this is going to kill the moment.”
To improve the situation, she recommends taking charge to establish yourself as a proficient kisser and ensure you and your partner are aligned.
Don’t just stand still and let the other person lead the entire interaction.
The sex therapist emphasized the importance of “kissing should be consensual,” and if you notice your partner pulling away, it might be a sign that you need to adjust your technique.
If they keep distancing themselves, consider what might be causing this reaction.
Annabelle suggests: “Try to match your rhythm and speed to theirs. This might help prevent such a scenario.”
If your partner suddenly disengages from a kiss, it might leave you puzzled.
This could indicate that something has gone awry in the exchange.
Annabelle explains: “If either yourself or your partner abruptly pulls away from a kiss, then it’s likely something has gone wrong.
“Knowing how to maintain contact and chemistry when your lips aren’t touching is a skill of a good kisser, so learn this if you want to remedy your mistake.”
Expert Antonia Hall also offers her insights on identifying poor kissing habits, stating to Business Insider in 2019: “It’s important to connect lips with just the right amount of pressure and limit saliva exchange.
“It’s a bad sign when the person you’re kissing puts their hand to their mouth to wipe away saliva or soothe their sore lips after kissing you.”
Issues can arise if your partner frequently wipes their mouth, struggles with your technique, or battles bad breath during the kiss.
The essence is to adapt to your partner’s style unless they are also struggling. In that case, it might be time to seek some guidance.