An expert in relationships has highlighted some positive signs to look for when seeking the right partner.
When pursuing a meaningful relationship, we often focus on red flags, and understandably so since dating can be quite challenging.
While it’s crucial to identify potential issues for safety reasons, recognizing positive traits is equally important.
In this context, relationship expert Dr. Julie Gottman identified three “green flags” that can indicate a promising partner.
During an interview with Steve Bartlett on his podcast Diary of a CEO, she, along with her husband Dr. John Gottman, shared insights from their extensive experience in helping people with their relationships, emphasizing what to look for in a potential partner.
These may seem like fundamental qualities, yet they are essential in the dating world.
The first quality to consider is whether someone is self-focused or if they genuinely listen and take an interest in you.
Dr. Gottman mentioned: “Do they tell you only about themselves, or are they asking questions about you as well?”
If a date is entirely self-centered, it may indicate a lack of compatibility. Next, assess how they behave towards others around them.
More specifically, observe their interactions with service staff like servers and bartenders. Courtesy and respect towards these individuals is a significant positive trait.
“Do they treat people equally?” Gottman inquired. “Are they kind?”
How a person treats those perceived as having a ‘lower status’ can reveal much about their character.
The third sign to consider is reliability: Is your date someone you can depend on?
While many individuals lead busy lives with unexpected changes, consistent last-minute cancellations or unfulfilled promises are concerning.
Conversely, if someone is consistently reliable and upfront about any genuine conflicts, that’s a positive sign.
“Do they do what they say they’ll do?” Gottman emphasized, noting: “Reliability is a big deal.”
In summary, look out for genuine interest in you, respect for others, and reliability.
Some may argue that highlighting these basic virtues suggests the standards are quite low. However, these qualities are fundamental in healthy relationships.