A dating expert suggests that a single behavior could be a strong indicator of whether a couple will end up divorcing.
Everyone seems to have advice on how to make a relationship last, from the first date all the way to a lifelong partnership. While marriage is often seen as the ultimate goal, maintaining a marriage over time can be quite challenging.
A social media dating coach, who says they hold a PhD in Psychology, referenced a study by American psychologist and professor John M Gottman and Robert Levenson from 1992. The study aimed to predict divorce rates among numerous couples.
Known on social media as Cleopatra, the dating coach highlighted a crucial finding of this study.
In a social media post, Cleopatra mentioned: “A 12-year study found one habit that predicts with 91% accuracy whether a couple will stay together or break apart.”
She continued, describing the long-term research by the Gottman Institute: “A long-term study by the Gottman Institute followed couples for over a decade and found something surprising.”
A 12-year study found one habit that predicts with 91% accuracy whether a couple will stay together or break apart:
— Cleopatra | Seduce Her 💋 (@SeduceCleopatra) February 11, 2026
“It wasn’t how often they said ‘I love you’. It wasn’t how good their communication techniques were. It wasn’t intimacy. It wasn’t shared interests.
“It was this. How often they turned toward each other’s ‘bids for connection’.”
“A bid is small. Almost invisible. ‘Look at this.’ A random joke. A sigh after a long day. A hand reaching under the table. A comment like, “You won’t believe what happened.”
“In that moment, one partner is quietly asking: Do you see me? Do I matter right now? And the other has three options:
“Turn toward (engage) Turn away (ignore) Turn against (respond negatively).
“In stable, happy marriages, partners turned toward each other about 86% of the time.
“In couples who later divorced, it was closer to 33%.”
While Cleopatra provides a simplified summary, the institute’s full explanation covers several other important factors that affect a couple’s chances of staying together.
One of the factors the study measured was the level of affection between partners, which seems to be Cleopatra’s point. The study also looked at:
According to the institute: “Some of the variables that increased the likelihood of a couple staying together included:
“One spouse’s expression of fondness towards their partner.
“Both partners’ expression of “we-ness”.
“Expression of positivity or happiness in their marriage (especially on the part of the husband in heterosexual relationships).