Finding the right rhythm with your partner can be crucial in many relationships, but it’s not unusual for couples to get stuck in a cycle where expectations hinder intimacy.
Chamin Ajjan, a sex and relationships coach from New York, offers three essential tips for maintaining satisfaction in the bedroom and avoiding physical underperformance, emphasizing the importance of communication.
Often, making a significant fuss about sex can lead to stress for both partners, reducing enjoyment. This stress can result in one partner losing interest and the other struggling to perform.
Ajjan explained to the Daily Mail how this can trigger your nervous system, noting that heightened alertness is detrimental to bedroom performance, as “it can be really hard to perform in those circumstances.”
Communication is vital in any relationship aspect, including physical intimacy.
If you and your partner are not on the same page, it’s wise to slow down to avoid creating more difficulties.
Ajjan noted: “If you have expectations that are unspoken, and your partner doesn’t know about that, and they’re not meeting the expectations, that’s going to lead to conflict, it can lead to disappointment.
‘It can lead to this feeling of not being understood, or cared about, or prioritized, and for the offending partner, it can feel like I can never get it right.’
“I love all the candy and the chocolates and the expectations for a big romantic experience, and, you know, I often get disappointed because things fall flat,” Ajjan shared.
If wooing isn’t working and seems to be pushing your partner away, it may be time to try a different approach. Relax, and take small steps.
The sex therapist advised: “For the people who fall into that camp where they’re just not interested in sex, it can be a complete turnoff, this pressure, and then you find the other partner having these expectations, and they’re not being met.
“So I think the most important thing for couples who might fall into this trap is to lower the stakes.”
‘Just the practice of kissing your partner daily can do a lot. So, that’s one of the first assignments that I give.’
More to follow.