An individual diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) shared their journey to obtaining a diagnosis and their reasons for wanting one.
The term ‘sociopath’ is often used in everyday language, yet its true meaning is not widely understood.
Sociopath is an informal term for ASPD, a mental health disorder characterized by harmful behavior patterns and a lack of remorse.
According to the Cleveland Clinic: “A person might show disrespect toward others and be manipulative, aggressive or reckless.”
Symptoms can include physical aggression, using wit, flattery, and charm to manipulate, lying or deceiving, and an inability to take responsibility for actions or behaviors.
However, the Clinic notes that ASPD can manifest differently in each individual.
Kanika Batra, who also has ASPD, mentions that those with the condition often lack a conscience and deep empathy.
An anonymous individual has now shared their experience of seeking a diagnosis after always feeling something was amiss.
Without revealing their gender or country, they participated in a Reddit Ask Me Anything session last year.
One user inquired about their motivation for seeking a diagnosis.
The individual replied openly: “Nothing, really. Only my mother and a few other people who I chose to openly talk to ever suspected ASPD, and deep down, I always knew it.”
They mentioned that in the past, after their mother urged them to consult a psychiatrist, they were told they displayed ASPD ‘tendencies’ from a young age.
It was not until much later that they decided to pursue a formal diagnosis.
The turning point was an ‘intense discomfort’ they felt after trying to suppress their personality for someone else.
“I sort of do things in a flux state, if that makes sense,” they explained. “I guess what really pushed me towards it was after feeling intense discomfort after temporarily suppressing my character for someone.”
They described themselves as someone who is ‘always out for reasons for stuff,’ consistently analyzing their behavior.
This internal conflict led them to seek answers.
When another user asked why they wanted the ASPD label on record, they shared their reasoning.
“Deep down, the challenge, I guess?” the user confessed. They described the diagnosis as a ‘big f**k you’ to those who doubted them or thought they would not succeed in life.
“Felt like a big f**k you to all those who told me that I wouldn’t be able to make it and be successful,” they added, expressing satisfaction in knowing that many might not manage the same with this condition.
This sentiment echoed with another social media participant, who commented: “Neither my mom nor some high school teachers believed I’d be able to make it in life and figured I’d be incarcerated or dead. If they could see what I do now they’d eat their foot.”
They remarked that their ‘mindset and morals (or lack thereof)’ remained unchanged, adding: “I just know how to push them down and fake it until I made it.”
“There you go. Pretty much that,” the original poster replied. “Feels good doesn’t it?”
Whether driven by defiance, validation, or self-awareness, the user emphasized that for them, the diagnosis merely affirmed what they already believed.
It didn’t alter who they were; it confirmed their self-perception.