Figuring out the first few weeks of dating can be tricky, and a relationship expert has highlighted three red flags worth paying attention to.
Most people want to be respectful of each other’s time — and avoid getting strung along themselves — so spotting mismatched intentions early can make it easier to decide when it’s best to step away.
Red flags can show up in plenty of ways. Some experts have even laid out extensive lists of warning signs, describing them as a kind of “sneak preview” of what your future with someone might look like.
Now, dating coach, podcaster and content creator Sabrina Zohar has narrowed it down to three common red flags that can appear specifically in the early stages of dating — when things often feel the most uncertain.
“Here are three red flags I want you to look out for in the early stages of dating,” she told her 1.6 million TikTok followers. “Remember, a red flag is a pattern of behavior. It doesn’t mean you have to run for the f**king hills, but it’s something to look out for so you don’t waste anymore of your goddamn time.”
The first issue she raised is inconsistency — not in the sense of replying at different times, but in the emotional push-and-pull of being warm one minute and distant the next.
“This isn’t just going to magically get better,” she warned of this red flag. “This person was chasing a feeling to begin with, and now that they know they have you, they’re starting to play the f**king games.”
Warning: video contains strong language
The second red flag is deflection. She noted it can look like someone dismissing your feelings or implying you’re overreacting — for example, telling you that you’re “too sensitive” when you try to address something directly.
Sabrina explained: “They do something to make it seem as if there’s something wrong with you for wanting to have a conversation, instead of just saying ‘hey, maybe it’s too fast’ or ‘hey, I’m not feeling those feelings’.”
In other words, if someone won’t communicate openly and honestly — or tries to make you feel at fault just for bringing something up — it’s a strong warning sign.
Her third and final red flag, which she described as a particularly big one, is a lack of accountability for past relationship problems or life conflicts.
“Conveniently it’s always their ex was crazy or nobody was fair to them, but yet it’s never about the way that they acted or the behavior they ensued,” she explained.
That’s usually all you need to know.