A sex worker has revealed why ‘eproctophilia’ is a fetish she won’t be doing in the future after an experience with a client that left her realising it was not for her.
Eproctophilia is a kink centred on flatulence, with some people aroused by the sound, the smell, producing it themselves, or being exposed to it.
It can also sit alongside humiliation or power-exchange dynamics, which is part of what makes it a niche preference that many would consider among the more extreme fetishes.
Melissa Todd, a dominatrix, described her one and only attempt at it in a first-person article for Metro, explaining that the session made it clear she didn’t want to offer the fetish again.
She said the client, John, had specific requests ahead of their meeting, asking her to eat onion bhajis, sage and onion stuffing, and artichokes the night before to create the “best farting effect”.
But even after taking extra steps to prepare, she found the reality of the situation didn’t match the plan.
She explained for the Metro: “When John arrived, all bounce and expectation, I let him down spectacularly, over and over, for the entire two hours. Reader, I cannot allow my bowels to relax over a stranger’s face. I simply can’t do it. Everything in me recoils from the prospect.”
According to Todd, the client had planned for the possibility that she might not be able to perform as requested, and came prepared with an alternative.
Todd continued: “Happily John had anticipated my incompetence and supplied a whoopee cushion, so even though I couldn’t deliver the real thing, I could at least provide the noise, if not the aroma. Bounce giggle squeak. Two hours of it. At least my quads were getting a proper workout.”
Even though she wasn’t personally comfortable with the fetish, Todd said John still seemed to enjoy the appointment and left in good spirits, thanking her afterwards.
“Often a session is as much about being heard and sharing a moment of connection as having a bhaji-scented guff break on your teeth,” she continued.
She added, though, that John hasn’t booked another session since.
Separately, Todd has also discussed her preferences around clients, previously telling Metro she often finds married men easier to work with because they are less likely to follow up with persistent messages than single men.
“I can be confident he will head on his merry way home after our encounter, not giving me another thought,” she said.
The BDSM practitioner added: “You don’t want a client who leaves you weighed down with wretched loneliness, nothing waiting for him at home but an empty sofa and a microwave meal.”