A man has opened up about how a late autism diagnosis at 42 has reshaped the way he understands his life.
Tyler Barnett, who lives in Calabasas, California, spent years being described in different ways as he grew up.
He recalls being labelled ‘gifted’ as a child, while also receiving several mental health diagnoses over time, including anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder.
Tyler told PEOPLE he had been ‘feeling like an imposter’ in his own life.
After decades of trying to make sense of why he felt different, things shifted when the public relations specialist was diagnosed with level 1 autism and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) on April 13, 2026.
He says that before getting answers, he often felt like he was living on the periphery—watching other people connect while sensing a gulf between himself and everyone else.
In his interview with PEOPLE, Tyler shared a childhood moment that still stands out to him.
“I was watching a group of kids link arms and jump up and down and laugh,” he said, “they were doing something from a movie I hadn’t seen or something.
“I was on the outside just watching. I didn’t really understand why they were doing that or why it was fun, but I felt like I didn’t get it or didn’t know how to fit in.”
He says that sense of being out of sync followed him into adulthood, where he was repeatedly encouraged to adjust himself to suit other people.
He remembers being told to ‘make other people comfortable around me’.
Tyler says the pressure to appear “normal” pushed him into performing rather than feeling safe as himself.
He described the result as having to start ‘pretending’.
Although he sought help through therapy, he says it never fully explained what was underneath his struggles.
“I saw a lot of therapists, and the thing about therapy is you can’t therapize yourself out of autism.”
He added that while therapy was ‘helpful’ in some ways, he feels it also ‘pulled me further from the truth’ because he learned to cope by observing others and replicating what seemed expected.
He said he managed to ‘get by’ through pattern recognition, but the internal strain never went away.
“Internally, I was in so much pain, exhausted, confused, scared and hiding it all,” he said.
Tyler also spent time on medication for his mental health, but says that because his brain works differently, the prescriptions brought more side-effects and left him feeling worse instead of better.
After receiving the autism and ADHD diagnosis, he shared an emotional update online with his TikTok followers. Tyler posts under the username @millenialdad.
“Today I found out that I’m autistic and I have ADHD…I always have, and nothing’s wrong with me.
“I’ve been mislabeled and mismedicated, and misdiagnosed. I have tried to figure this out myself and I’m so relieved.”
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available through Mental Health America. Call or text 988 to reach a 24-hour crisis center or you can webchat at
988lifeline.org. You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting MHA to 741741.