For years, the internet has joked about men gradually taking on their partner’s style and appearance — but what about the men who repeatedly date women who look strikingly similar to their ex?
It turns out psychologists say there may be more going on than coincidence.
Rather than focusing on the well-worn idea that certain celebrities end up resembling each person they date, there’s another relationship pattern that often gets people talking: men who consistently pick the same “type”, sometimes to the point where new partners resemble former girlfriends or spouses.
The topic has resurfaced in conversation following reports that former footballer Jermaine Jenas has started a new relationship after his marriage to Ellie Penfold came to an end.
Penfold and the midfielder were together for 16 years before their split, which was confirmed last year.
Now, he’s reportedly dating someone many people think looks very similar to her.
After being seen with Parisian luxury estate agent Anne Leplaideur, observers have pointed out the resemblance.
From their similar colouring — caramel-toned skin, brown eyes, dark hair — to overlapping facial features, the comparison has been hard for many to miss.
So why does this happen?
Psychologist Phil Macleod has weighed in on what could be behind the pattern.
He told the Daily Mail that ‘it’s all about subconscious’ needs.
Macleod said that when men date women who resemble former partners, it can be a form of ‘familiarity-seeking, driven by several psychological factors’.
As he describes it, it can be linked to ‘mainly the imprint of an ideal match formed through past positive experiences.’
“In love, people often seek versions of the same type of person. This is why you sometimes see patterns in people’s relationships,” he explained.
He also pointed to high-profile examples people frequently cite — such as Lewis Hamilton being linked to Kim Kardashian after his long relationship with Nicole Scherzinger, and Kanye West dating Bianca Censori following his divorce from Kardashian.
In Macleod’s view, this can connect to ‘attachment theory’, which Simply Psychology describes as being a ‘framework’ related to forming emotional relationships with key people.
He explained that over time, emotional connections can shape what feels comfortable and secure, as the ‘brain and nervous system become associated with familiar emotional patterns, traits, and dynamics,’ which feel safe.
He said: “These associations can come from their initial caregiver(s) or previous relationships, family dynamics, repeated positive reinforcement, or even unresolved emotional experiences.
‘In psychology, this can create what’s often called a ‘relationship template’ or a ‘love map’, where the subconscious mind uses past emotional imprinting as a future reference for attraction. That’s essentially where the idea of someone having a certain ‘type’ comes from.”
In other words, people may find themselves drawn back to the same traits — and sometimes even the same look — because it mirrors emotional familiarity, whether they realise it or not.
And in certain situations, that familiar pull can show up most obviously in physical appearance.