A man who has been diagnosed as a psychopath has spoken candidly about what it’s like to live with a condition he says he was born with — and why he insists he would “never” choose to change.
Loic De Marie, from Belgium, received a formal diagnosis at 23. Although psychopathy isn’t classified as an official, standalone clinical diagnosis in the US, Loic says he was diagnosed in Belgium with psychopathy, antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), and impulsivity with narcissistic tendencies.
Research suggests psychopathy can be influenced by both upbringing and biology. Psychology Today has reported on studies linking it to heritable traits, supporting the idea that genetics can play a role alongside environmental factors.
Now 25, Loic has discussed his experiences for LADbible’s Minutes With series, saying he believes he was born with the condition.
He describes having a “really nice” early childhood, but says things shifted after his parents divorced. Loic recalls that his mother began drinking heavily, and that she attempted to take her own life when he was still young.
“At the age I think of eight, she tried to kill herself,” Loic says. “So in my adolescence, my mom was drinking from maybe my eight years to 16 years. And she was aggressive, she was absent sometimes and it got an impact on me.
“She was saying to me that I’m not her son anymore. And she was this kind of mean. This is the kind of thing that with psychopathy, it changes you. With psychopathy, you are born that way, but it doesn’t help this kind of behaviour from a mother or a father.”
He also says his mother first realised something was unusual when he was six, after an incident in which his younger sister ended up in a swimming pool and he didn’t immediately react, focusing instead on not getting wet.
“She fell into the swimming pool… and I didn’t jump into the pool. You know why? Because at the time, the only thing that matters to me was my clothes,” he recalls.
“My mom came out of the house and she’s yelling, screaming that why I didn’t jump into the pool. And I answered, ‘Mom, my clothes are clean’.
“And she was like, ‘What the f**k is wrong with this kid?’ That was the first time my mum understood that I was different.”
Afterwards, Loic says he saw a psychologist, and that over time he learned to “mask” — presenting emotions he doesn’t necessarily feel in order to blend in socially.
He says forming genuine emotional bonds is difficult, but adds that he believes his outward persona has helped him maintain friendships and relationships.
“So in the past, I was very charming with a big smile, very empathetic in appearance, very manipulative,” he admits. “And I think that was dangerous for me and for others.”
As one example, Loic describes pursuing a relationship with someone close to his friend group — his best friend’s ex — and says he didn’t feel remorse at the time.
“I had a best friend, yeah, but one day I had a relationship with his ex-girlfriend, and I know now that it is not correct to do that,” he recalls. “But at the time, I was not feeling bad, because I was like, I just want something and I get what I want.”
Even so, Loic argues he doesn’t see himself as a “bad” person, and says he wouldn’t alter his personality even if it were possible.
“I think I’m a good person because I’m honest, I’m doing good things without hurting anybody else,” he says. “So the question is, of course, there is always a dark side, and I think nobody can be a total good person.”
When he’s asked directly whether he’d change who he is, his answer is unequivocal.
“Never, because I believe that sometimes emotions is a weakness, sometimes.
“I had a beautiful life, even in the past, I don’t regret anything. And if I could change, people very often ask me this question, even in interviews, and I always respond, never.”
Loic also claims he doesn’t feel emotions such as love, fear, or stress, though he says he can experience brief spikes of anger.
“I’m gonna be very angry. But just for a short moment, and after that, I’m calm again, and people are like, ‘What the f**k just happened?'” he explains.
He adds that a lack of fear can carry real risks, something he says he has come to understand over time.
Watch Loic’s full Minutes With episode below:
“In the past, I was putting myself into danger in sexual relationships because I never had protection, or I was driving pretty fast on the highway with some medication or some alcohol,” he says.
“And for me, that was just funny. You are in your brand new BMW, you know, and you are at 200 kilometres on the highway, and you get this feeling of feeling powerful, you feel alive.
“But I learned that feeling alive can give place to death if you play that game too long.”