Shaquille O’Neal has spoken candidly about why he agrees with his ex-wife’s view that she was never truly in love with him, saying he understands because he would not have loved himself at that time either.
The retired basketball icon and Shaunie Henderson began dating in the 1990s and married in 2002. During their relationship, they built a large blended family and raised five children together, including Henderson’s son Myles from a previous relationship and the four children they share: Shareef, Amirah, Shaqir and Me’arah. Their marriage eventually broke down, and their divorce was finalized in 2011 after an earlier separation period.
Even after separating, the two have largely kept personal tensions out of the spotlight and focused on co-parenting. More insight into what happened behind the scenes emerged when Henderson published her 2024 memoir, UNDEFEATED: Changing the Rules and Winning on My Own Terms, which revisited their relationship and her life after the split.
In the book, she reflected on her marriage and addressed O’Neal’s infidelity, something he had already acknowledged in his 2011 memoir, Shaq Uncut: My Story.
One of the more surprising revelations was Henderson’s admission that, looking back, she realized she had never actually been in love with him.
“I always had a fear of sharing too much and of telling my story that involved anybody else. I didn’t want to disrespect someone else’s story, even if it was a part of mine, but as I get older and do more things in the entertainment industry, I found that people have a misconception of who I am,” Henderson wrote in her book. “Anything involving Shaquille is always a sketchy thing because he is who he is, and despite what our story is, no one ever wants to hear what could come across as not the greatest reputation,” she added.
She also wrote: “Looking back, I don’t know that I was ever really in love with the man,” a line that quickly drew attention when the memoir was released in May 2024.
Shortly after the memoir came out, O’Neal appeared to respond on his Instagram Story with a brief but pointed message.
“I understand…I wouldn’t have been in love with me either. Wishing you all the best. All love, Shaq,” O’Neal wrote.
He went on to discuss the subject in more detail during an appearance on the It’s Giving… podcast in March 2025, where he said he believes he fell short in every major part of being a husband.
When asked why he agreed with Henderson’s assessment, he said:
“She didn’t think she ever really loved me and my response was I wouldn’t have loved me either. As a man I was failing. A man has three jobs with a woman. Protect, provide and love. At that point in my life, I failed her in all three areas.”
He added:
“I was an a******. I was an idiot. She was 1000% correct. I failed her as a husband, as a protector and as a provider. She’s not my wife anymore but she gave me five beautiful children. I’ll always protect her.”
O’Neal has spoken before about taking responsibility for the end of the marriage, and his latest comments continued that pattern of public self-criticism rather than pushing back on Henderson’s account. The former NBA star, who won four championships during his Hall of Fame basketball career, framed his response less as a rebuttal and more as an acknowledgment of how badly he believes he handled that stage of his personal life.
For many fans, the exchange stood out because celebrity memoir revelations often trigger public feuds. Instead, both O’Neal and Henderson have presented their reflections as part of a longer process of honesty, accountability and moving forward after a highly visible relationship ended.