Etiquette expert Laura Windsor has spoken out against a texting habit millions use to excuse late replies.
Windsor, who is widely known as the Queen of Etiquette, told Mail Online that sending “sorry, just seen this” reads as rude and rings especially hollow when the sender has actually seen the message for hours. She urged texters to drop the pretense and own the delay with straightforward courtesy.
“If you have already seen it but not yet answered, just be courteous and say something like: ‘I’m terribly sorry I did not reply before’,” she said. “And say what you need to say and perhaps add ‘apologies again’ at the end. Don’t make a habit of it – because then it looks as if you are taking the mickey!”
Windsor questioned why people bother with the white lie at all. She noted that most message recipients do not expect instant replies and understand that others lead busy lives with crowded inboxes.
“What is the point of pretending that you haven’t seen a message? You overestimate what the recipient expects of you,” she continued. “The sender should realise that their text is not the only one you receive, that you have a busy life too and you will get to it as soon as you can.”
The expert also flagged another phrase that backfires over text: “we need to talk.” Windsor called it “ominous and deliberately manipulative” for digital conversation. She recommended softening the approach with modal verbs and explicit gratitude for the other person’s time.
“Better to use the softeners here and modal verbs such as ‘Would it be possible to meet today? I would be very grateful if you have some time to chat’,” Windsor shared. “And always say thank you at the end of the message to acknowledge that their time is precious as well.”
Her guidance extends to messages of condolence, where brevity can wound. Windsor warned against firing off a standalone “condolences,” which she said lands as “callous.”
“We tend to shorten our sentences in moments when just a little more warmth is needed, making our words seem stark, unempathetic and almost robotic,” she explained. “We forget that we are speaking to another human being, with feelings and emotions.”
Windsor is not the only etiquette authority weighing in on modern manners this year. William Hanson, another prominent figure in the field, recently drew a sharp line between social and professional punctuality. Speaking to the outlet Stories, he declared that arriving early to a dinner party can be worse than showing up late.
“Socially, if I said to someone come for dinner at 7.30, what I do not want is people to be early,” Hanson said. “I would much rather someone was half an hour late than five minutes early. I’m probably not ready at 7.25, but I will be ready from 7.30.”
For business meetings, Hanson flipped the rule entirely. He advised professionals to “arrive a little bit early” so the appointment can begin precisely when scheduled.