First Heartbreak: 29 Things You Wish You Had Learned Sooner

Love. That powerful human emotion that has instigated wars, driven men to madness, and torn apart families. It’s a force to be reckoned with. Particularly so, when it all goes pear-shaped. Indeed, it could be argued that the only thing more powerful than love is heartbreak.

But regardless of that pain, a broken heart can offer much wisdom and enlightenment. If only your naively heartbroken self would have known these 29 all important life lessons. If only.

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#1. You’re allowed to be angry about the break up.

No one ever likes to say this out loud, because we’ve been taught that it equates to being bitter. It doesn’t.

#2. A new hairstyle truly does wonders.

Never underestimate the power of a new hair color.

#3. Alcohol is not your friend.

If you ever thought it was, then it’s the kind that made you drunk call your ex and spew out all the ice-cream you were binging on.

#4. Sometimes love isn’t actually love.

The idea of a person is often never as good as the real person.

#5. There’s a song to remedy every heartbreak.

Sing it, Adele.

#6. You’re allowed to be sad, but not overly dramatic.

Validating your feelings is part of the process, but being sad about a break up does not give you permission to feel the same about everything else.

#7. Remember the friends in your bedroom who provided pizza and chocolate on tap.

Those are your true friends.

#8. There’s no way to “win” in a break-up.

Seriously, there isn’t.

#9. Cry as much as you need to… in private.

Sshhh… let it all out.

 #10. Heartbreak afflicts everyone.

Heartbreak does not discriminate, it happens to everyone.

#11. Watching all those romantic movies on repeat was a band-aid, not a cure.

Nicholas Sparks, you devil.

#12. Getting under someone to get over your ex does not in fact, help you get over them.

There’s only a 27% chance of that happening. Probably.

#13. It’s okay not to stay friends with your ex.

Actually, it’s preferable. Painful reminders of their existence on Facebook are unhelpful for everyone.

#14. A new relationship is no way to fix an old one.

Repressing feelings. When has that ever paid off?

#15. Stalking your ex is creepy. Stop it.

That includes whoever he/she dates after the break up. Don’t be that person.

#16. Some people will always put themselves first.

People will let you down, but it will help you learn to rely on yourself.

#17. You can’t force a relationship if the other person refuses to make it work.

If it’s done, then it’s done. Move on.

#18. Love yourself, as cliché as it may sound.

Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you don’t let it go on.

#19. Your first love will always have a place in your heart.

A teeny tiny itty bitty place.

#20.  Numbing yourself to the pain won’t help.

The only way to move past the pain is to feel everything and get through it.

#21. Heartbreaks make for amazing creative fuel.

Just ask any artist.

#22. You’re a lot stronger than you think.

If falling in love takes courage, then so does moving past it.

#23. Spending time alone can either be depressing or refreshing.

Being alone with your thoughts can help for a wave of realizations, but not so much so that you refuse the comfort of people.

#24. Stop waiting for something to happen.

If you choose to keep waiting, you might end up waiting forever.

#25. You can fall out of love for the same reasons you fell in it.

Their spontaneity becomes recklessness, and their one track mind becomes immaturity. The same things you loved about someone can end up being the things you hate about them.

#26. Let go of all the ‘what ifs’.

Sometimes you can’t get closure, and focusing your energy on things that could have happened is no way to live the rest of your life.

#27. Don’t neglect your health.

A fat tush may be comfy to sit on, but that’s it. You can eat all the ice cream and chips it takes to soothe your heart, but never forget to take care of yourself.

#28. Relationships need more than just love.

Not every relationship can be saved by love and love alone. Trust, respect, and a whole host of other factors are essential for a successful relationship .

#29. Believe in the good moments.

The relationship happened for a reason. The break up happened for a reason. It may not have been all good, but it wasn’t all bad either.