We’ve all had that moment when, sitting in our cold cubicles, we stare at the palm trees on our desktop screensaver and fantasize about living and working in some exotic location. Well, we’re here to tell you to SHUT. IT. DOWN.
Here are just a few solid reasons why you should never, ever, EVER even consider a foreign zip code:
#1. Your home is the most comfortable place on earth. Why move when you don’t have to?
You have everything you could possibly need right at home. There is no reason to go looking for new adventures and meeting new people. Humans are the same everywhere.
#2. There’s just too much to learn out there, so you might as well not bother.
It won’t be like reading from a book anymore. It’ll be actual, experience-based learning stuff that no teacher could ever tell you about. We shudder at the thought.
#3. Overseas work experience will look really bad on your resume.
Employers hate seeing overseas work experience. After all, what kind of person would leave a perfectly stable job at home? They won’t think you’re independent, able to work well with others, and self-starting. You’re better off staying in the same salesman post at your paper company forever, and retire with a legacy.
#4. You’ll forget to speak English.
Of course you’ll have to learn the local language of your new home if you want to be able to communicate. But your brain might run out of space to accommodate all the new words and flush the old ones out! Argh!
#5. Local food will taste awful and give you dysentery.
Your stomach is conditioned to eat a certain type of food: the kind you’ve been eating your whole life. All those intense flavors and different dishes would just confuse the heck out of your stomach.
#6. Too much fun and adventure is bad for your health.
Did you know that too much excitement can trigger heart attacks and other fatal medical emergencies that might lead to death? Just thought you should know.
#7. Think about your poor parents!
Don’t be selfish. Your parents raised you and moving thousands of miles away will just break their hearts. There’s nothing wrong with being 12 years old forever and living under their roof until you die.
#8. Moving to another country isn’t taking a risk, it’s throwing your life away.
Taking a risk is getting on that scary-as-hell roller coaster, or talking to that cute guy in the cafe, or finally switching to decaf. But switching countries? Definitely in the realm of crazy, that one.
#9. Personal growth is not something to aspire to.
It’s perfectly fine to stay the same forever. Growth is overrated.
If, for some bizarre reason, you take no issue with the above points — and even find them appealing — then just pick a destination, pack your bags, and have your happily ever after in a land far, far away. GOOD LUCK (you’ll need it).
