Benny Blanco has revealed he drafted a detailed checklist of traits he wanted in an ideal partner after his therapist pushed him to get specific about his romantic future.
The music producer, 38, made the admission during a recent appearance on The Mel Robbins Podcast, where he explained that he once believed he was “doing something wrong” in his search for lasting love. Blanco told listeners he had reached a point of frustration, saying, “I really wanna find the right partner, and I’m doing something wrong. I can’t find the person that I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with, and I want to do that.”
His therapist responded by telling him to write down exactly what he was looking for, and Blanco came up with what he described as “some guidelines and a list.” The producer did not shy away from sharing the criteria he established, noting that the requirements were broad but non-negotiable.
“Then the second thing on my list was, someone who’s nice. Nice, caring, compassionate, like someone who’s a nice person,” he told Mel Robbins. A positive outlook ranked third for Blanco, who specified he wanted someone who “woke up generally happy.” He expanded on this point, adding, “And if they were sad, they were doing something about it. Like they were going to therapy, they were taking medicine if they need to, they were doing yoga.”
The “Eastside” hitmaker clarified that his priority was finding someone actively working to improve their mental health rather than someone who simply appeared cheerful. His first requirement, however, was more straightforward: a partner who was “age appropriate.”
Blanco and Selena Gomez, 34, first crossed paths professionally 15 years ago but remained platonic until 2023, when the Disney Channel alum made the first move and asked him on a date. The producer admitted he was “immensely surprised” by her initiative, telling the podcast, “I always think those are the best type of relationships.”
The couple wed and are now preparing to celebrate their first wedding anniversary at the end of this month, a milestone Blanco once thought impossible. He and Gomez have frequently discussed how timing shaped their connection, with Blanco noting that neither would have been ready for romance in earlier phases of their lives.
“We always talk about how it never would’ve worked out if it were at a different time or place in our lives, because neither one of us would’ve likely been ready,” he shared.
Before their relationship began, Gomez had been in a long-term, on-off relationship with Justin Bieber from 2010 to 2018, and briefly dated The Weeknd, real name Abel Tesfaye, from January to October 2017. Blanco, for his part, dated model Elsie Hewitt from 2019 to 2020 after meeting her on the set of his music video for “Graduation” featuring Juice WRLD.