Emma Heming Willis, the spouse of actor Bruce Willis, has candidly discussed the difficulties of the holiday season following his difficult dementia diagnosis.
Emma, 47, authored an essay titled “The Holidays Look Different Now” on her website, contemplating the significant changes since Bruce was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia in 2023.
“The holidays have a way of holding up a mirror, reflecting who we’ve been, who we are, and what we imagined they would be,” Emma expressed. “When you’re caring for someone with dementia, that reflection can feel especially poignant. Traditions that once felt somewhat effortless require planning — lots of planning. Moments that once brought uncomplicated joy may arrive tangled in a web of grief. I know this because I’m living it.”
Emma, who is a mother to two daughters, Mabel Ray Willis, 13, and Evelyn Penn Willis, 11, with Bruce, also shared comforting words with others experiencing similar feelings during the festive season, emphasizing that it’s ‘okay to grieve’ for what has been lost.
She continued, “I’ve learned that the holidays don’t disappear when dementia enters your life. They change,” adding that Bruce loved the holiday season and was the one bringing energy and joy through traditions. “He was the pancake-maker, the get-out-in-the-snow-with-the-kids guy, the steady presence moving through the house as the day unfolded. There was comfort in the routine of knowing exactly how the day would go, especially since I’m a creature of habit.”
Even though the holidays are now altered, she stressed that her husband’s diagnosis ‘didn’t erase those memories’ and they can still bring ‘joy,’ albeit tinged with bittersweetness.
Emma admitted that the changes could be painful as she grieved for the life they once enjoyed.
“But it does create space between then and now. And that space can ache,” she admitted. “Grief during the holidays can show up in unexpected ways. It can arrive while pulling decorations out of storage, wrapping gifts, or hearing a familiar song. It can catch you off guard in the middle of a room full of people, or in the quiet moment when everyone else has gone to bed.”
Reflecting on how her holiday experience has evolved, Emma shared that although she isn’t ‘mad’ at Bruce, she sometimes found herself ‘harmlessly cursing’ his name when faced with tasks like hanging the holiday lights that used to be his responsibility.
“I miss the way he once led the holiday charge,” she remarked. “Yes, he taught me well, but I’m still allowed to feel annoyed that this is one more reminder of how things have changed.”
Offering reassurance to others in similar situations, Emma shared her perspective, emphasizing that joy and grief can coexist.
“You’re not doing the holidays wrong,” Emma advised. “You’re responding honestly to a very real loss. You can miss what was and still show up for what is… This holiday season, our family will still unwrap gifts and sit together at breakfast. But instead of Bruce making our favorite pancakes, I will. And no, I can’t share the secret family recipe.”
She concluded by stating that ‘there will be laughter and cuddles,’ in the Willis household this year, but ‘there will almost certainly be tears because we can grieve and make room for joy. The joy doesn’t cancel out the sadness. The sadness doesn’t cancel out the joy. They coexist.’
The year 2025 will be the third holiday season the family has celebrated since Bruce’s diagnosis in 2023.
Initially, in 2022, he was diagnosed with aphasia, a condition impairing language, which led to his retirement from acting.
Later, in early 2023, it was revealed that the Die Hard actor was dealing with Frontotemporal Dementia, a progressive brain disorder impacting behavior, language, and movement.
Unfortunately, there is no known cure for this condition.