I'd like to share a joke with you that my 2yo nephew told me.
2yo: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
2yo: I don't know.
— Sarah del Rio (@establish1975) August 9, 2015
Me: Get out of bed.
Me: Why do you fight me every single morning?
4: Because you never learn.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) August 24, 2016
4: Mommy, you're just like a Disney movie. We should play pretend.
Me: Aww! Sure!
4:You can be the Beast.
4: Or the fat sea witch!
— Marlebean (@Marlebean) April 17, 2014
5: daddy can I tell you a secret?
Me: sure thing buddy
5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 9, 2015
dad: "come on, you guys are LATE!!!!"
11yo: "you should have started YELLING at us earlier!"
— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) June 30, 2016
Son: Mom you look like you're 20 …
Son: … thousand years old.
— Deva Dalporto (@mylifesuckers) July 11, 2016
10: Mom what's a metaphor?
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
— SardonicTart♋ (@SardonicTart) December 12, 2014
6yo: I don't like this cookie, it's too big
6yo: And the chocolate chips are too big
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 21, 2016
7yo: Why can't I have coffee?
Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are
7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) August 13, 2016
Me: We all make mistakes.
5: Even you?
5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016