[god creating jellyfish]
how bout an evil bag
— 𝔭𝔭 (@athleisure_monk) December 26, 2015
[inventing the parrot]
HOW ABOUT LIKE A TYE DYE CHICKEN WHO SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU
— Jade Van Kley (@BacklineNurse) February 18, 2015
[god, creating ducks]
Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don't know
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) January 15, 2015
[god creating animals]
ok this ones got a long throat
make it literally just a throat
oh and give it a face
call it a snake
— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) October 2, 2014
[god inventing horses]
make a sexy donkey
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) June 17, 2016
[god making bats]
GOD: just like a hairy black potato with wings
GOD: also it sleeps upside down like an idiot
— Jackson (@yungshepherdboy) March 10, 2015
[god creating whales]
"I want a fat blue piece of shit with a 20ft dick and it sings underwater. Also get me a beer. No wait five beers"
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) December 16, 2015
[God inventing the hippo]
How bout a fat horse that's always trying to sneak up on you in a pool pic.twitter.com/OadbNojhqQ
— tater tot bros (@thetits) March 7, 2016
[God creating dogs]
Oh these turned out great. Im going to want all of these back at some point
— Ygrene™ (@Ygrene) March 31, 2016
[god drunk, inventing hedgehog]
so cute but u can't cuddle it cuz, prickly quills or whatever, hahaha
[passes out] pic.twitter.com/h1o4Tn4Z65
— beth, an alien (@bourgeoisalien) April 5, 2016
GOD: Give it 8 super strong arms & hands
ANGEL: uh, we're out of bones..
GOD: 8 weird floppy arms w/ suction cup things
— huntigula (@huntigula) June 22, 2016
[god making pandas]
GOD: cow bears
GOD: did i fucken stutter
GOD: take it a cow and make it a bear
— Jackson (@yungshepherdboy) May 15, 2015
God, making cats: black! white! stripes!
Jesus: no i need a fancy one
God: …ok, this one has socks.
God: …tuxedo. done.
— emery lord (@emerylord) June 17, 2016
*god making chihuahuas* how bout a big nervous wall-eyed rat
— FRO VO (@fro_vo) April 6, 2016
[God creating a turkey]
God: Make it like a shitty brown peacock…
Animal technician: Anything else?
God: Hang a nut-sack on it's face lol
— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) June 1, 2015
[god making chimps]
GOD: shrink a gorilla & make it smart
ANGEL: Ok. And what sound should it make?
G: literally just have it fucking scream
— Jackson (@yungshepherdboy) June 13, 2015
[God creating platypuses]
God: This is my best work. Yes, Karen I am high, but that has nothing to do with it. This is perfect. Send it out.
— the ji (@jimmytorosian) February 17, 2015
[God, creating pigeons]
Make them pace back and forth like a lawyer.
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) August 29, 2015