As Christmas approaches, it often brings joy and excitement, but for some married couples, it could be a time that leads to heartbreak and separation.
The beginning of a new year is a period when many of us strive to break bad habits, shed a few pounds, and adopt a ‘new year, new me’ mindset.
While it’s a busy time for most, for divorce lawyers, this period from December to January, commonly referred to as ‘divorce season,’ is especially hectic.
Renowned New York divorce attorney, James Sexton, has shared insights into why married couples frequently end up seeking his services and offers advice on how to avoid such situations.
In an interview with the New York Post, Sexton, who often shares advice on his Instagram, mentioned that 56 percent of marriages end in divorce, which he describes as a ‘devastating process.’ Meanwhile, around 20 percent of couples try to stay together ‘for the kids’ or because they are unwilling to ‘give away half their stuff.’
This results in a combined failure rate of 76 percent, so what steps can be taken to avoid this outcome?
Here are eight reasons Sexton identifies that lead couples to divorce, along with his recommendations for addressing them.
Sexton pointed out: “People get comfortable, and comfort becomes complacency.
“You stop doing the small things that made your partner feel special in the first place.”
It’s crucial to nurture your partner through small yet thoughtful gestures.
Do not neglect the little things—consider making your loved one a coffee or preparing dinner.
According to Sexton, failing to prioritize or even schedule physical time together in the bedroom indicates a potential road to divorce.
The attorney remarked: “Sex is what differentiates a romantic relationship from every other type of relationship.
“Couples that stop prioritizing intimacy often feel like roommates.”
He suggests planning time for physical connection, even if it seems less spontaneous, because ‘desire thrives on effort’.
Sexton cautions that marriages focused solely on children can deteriorate.
He stated: “Your kids are going to leave one day. What’s left after that?”
Rather than staying together for the children, focus on strengthening the partnership, which will ultimately reinforce the family bond.
In the end, ‘happy parents make for happy kids’, he added.
Being constantly attached to our phones and trying to maintain a perfect online image can harm our genuine connections, Sexton warned.
Sexton expressed: “We’re performing our relationships instead of living them.
“Put the phone down, look your partner in the eye, and ask how their day was.”
Sexton stated that divorce does not occur suddenly, as minor issues often escalate over time.
He commented: “It’s never the big things; it’s the toothpaste cap, the socks on the floor, the dishes in the sink.”
Effective and kind communication is essential, and Sexton advises couples to ‘express their feelings before resentment takes root’.
Sexton explains that cheating ‘isn’t the problem’ but is instead ‘a symptom of deeper issues’.
Although infidelity is painful, he suggests that it often indicates that a partner’s needs are unmet and recommends improving communication before considering ending the marriage.
Identity loss is another significant factor leading couples to seek divorce.
Sexton elaborates: “When you lose yourself in a relationship, you lose the attraction that brought you together in the first place.”
To prevent this, maintain your hobbies, friendships, and interests, as ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’.
The lawyer noted: “People think a prenup is unromantic, but it’s actually the opposite.
“It’s saying, ‘I trust you enough to talk about the hard stuff before it becomes a problem.’ ”
So, there you have it—some valuable advice from one of NYC’s leading divorce lawyers, who might just help you preserve your marriage this holiday season.