A leading doctor has explained how long sex ‘actually’ lasts — and the average is far shorter than many people assume
In an interview with the Daily Mail, Dr Philippa Kaye spoke about premature ejaculation — a common sexual issue that many people still feel uncomfortable discussing openly.
She said the condition affects around 20 to 30 per cent of men at some stage, making it one of the most frequent male sexual difficulties.
Even so, Dr Kaye noted that pinning down truly reliable data can be difficult because many people don’t report what they’re experiencing.
“Shame and stigma mean people don’t talk about anything sexual,” Dr Kaye said. “That’s why premature ejaculation has historically received far less attention than erectile dysfunction, despite being just as common and often just as distressing for both the person experiencing it and their partner.”
One misconception she wanted to address is the belief that sex needs to last for a long time to be “normal” or satisfying.
She explained: “Studies suggest the average time to ejaculation during penetrative sex is around five and a half minutes.
“That’s it. Despite what Hollywood, pornography, social media, or the banter of friends in a bar might suggest, there is no Olympic standard for bedroom endurance.”
Dr Kaye also pointed out that the idea of finishing “too fast” varies hugely between individuals and couples. For some people it might mean only a few minutes, while for others ejaculation can happen before penetration starts.
She emphasised that occasional early ejaculation is very common and, on its own, usually isn’t a sign of a serious problem.
From a clinical perspective, she said premature ejaculation is generally identified using three key criteria:
* It happens consistently within about a minute
* It causes distress or relationship difficulties
* It leads to avoidance of intimacy
Dr Kaye said the condition typically falls into two categories.
The first is lifelong premature ejaculation, which usually starts from a person’s earliest sexual experiences and remains fairly consistent. It can be associated with heightened nerve sensitivity, but it may also be influenced by early learned behaviour.
“If someone learned to rush when they were younger, for example, out of fear of being caught, the body can become trained to move quickly,” she explained.
She added that strict views about sex, or certain attitudes and beliefs around intimacy, can contribute as well.
The second form is acquired premature ejaculation, which begins later in life after a period of typical sexual function. This type is often linked with other factors such as erectile dysfunction, prostate-related concerns, or mental health struggles.
Dr Kaye said the relationship between erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation is especially significant.
“Anxiety about losing an erection can create a sense of urgency, a ‘hurry before it disappears’ panic,” she explained. “Treat the erection problem and the ejaculation often resolves itself.”
In the end, Dr Kaye stressed that premature ejaculation is often influenced by more than just physical causes.
“It’s tangled up with anxiety, self‑esteem, relationship dynamics and sometimes other health conditions,” she said.
“But in most cases, it’s very treatable. The hardest part is often finding the courage to start the conversation.”