A hospice nurse has recounted a moment that challenged her belief that bad spirits do not exist.
Julie McFadden, working as a hospice nurse, has shared her insights gained from caring for individuals in their final stages of life. Her goal is to diminish the stigma and fear surrounding death.
Julie, who is known online as Hospice Nurse Julie, generally holds the conviction that there is nothing inherently sinister in the process of dying, opposing common fears of hell or evil spirits.
On her social media platform, Julie focuses on comforting people about the concept of death and narrating touching stories from her 16 years of experience in hospice care.
While most encounters have reinforced her beliefs, Julie disclosed that in her 16-year career, one particular incident caused her to question her perspective. Yet, she remains firm in her beliefs, acknowledging that this experience only momentarily unsettled her.
In a video on her YouTube channel, she recounted the story of a young woman in her late 20s or early 30s admitted with a terminal brain tumor. This patient, who was without family, was under the care of her friends.
The woman was insistent on avoiding any ‘western medicine’ during her stay, declining painkillers or, as Julie described, ‘anything that would essentially help her’.
Julie explained that the patient preferred methods such as ‘prayer, meditation, chanting, different sound practices, and various herbs’, noting that she holds ‘no objections’ to these practices.
The patient’s friends administered cannabis in a black tar form that was applied to her gums, resulting in blackened teeth and gums.
Over time, the friends covered the apartment in white sheets, transforming the space entirely, while crosses were placed throughout the home.
“You would think that it would feel good and light and airy,” said Julie. “But it did not. The second that I would walk in that apartment I’d be like, my stomach would get a pit in it, I would feel awful, I would feel physically scared.”
Describing the patient’s behavior, Julie noted: “She would grunt and moan and have these guttural things coming out of her that made me question everything.”
Despite her apprehensions, Julie felt compassion, understanding that the woman had no pain relief.
“I also felt terrible for her, because a lot of it could have been symptoms, it could have been her symptoms were not managed,” the nurse explained.
“I remember going there every single morning until she died and I would get sick to my stomach just walking into the apartment.”
One might assume that her passing brought peace, but that was not the case.
“It was not peaceful,” Julie recounted. “It did not feel better when she had died. The apartment was still just really really bad feeling.”
“It’s the one instance, the one situation I have been in that has made me question a little about of my beliefs about is this real, are there bad energies?”