An expert has highlighted the issues that a concept known as ‘riding the escalator’ can introduce into a couple’s sexual relationship.
To clarify, this isn’t about an actual escalator; we’re speaking metaphorically here.
So what does this metaphor entail?
Much like riding a real escalator, the focus is solely on reaching the top.
During the ride, there’s little concern for the surroundings or the mechanics of the escalator; the aim is simply to reach the top.
Once you arrive, you step off and continue with your routine.
This lack of engagement and singular focus on the endpoint has inspired the metaphor of ‘riding the escalator’ for certain types of sexual experiences, which may not result in a deeply satisfying culmination.
This type of intimacy can be somewhat detached.
Participants might not be fully engaged, simply waiting to reach the endpoint before disengaging.
Hannah Johnson, a sex and intimacy coach known as the ‘Libido Fairy’ on social platforms, explained the drawbacks of this approach.
“The escalator prioritises penetration and completion of a script over genuine connection and creativity in the bedroom,” she stated.
“It’s typically more problematic for women than men for several reasons.”
This sequence involves starting with kissing, progressing to heavy petting, then oral activities, and concluding with intercourse, usually capped off with a single orgasm.
“You start at the bottom of the escalator and feel like you’re supposed to ride it all the way to the top every time, whether you’re fully present, turned on, or not,” she explained.
Hannah highlighted that this approach treats penetration as the ‘main event’ in sexual encounters.
Activities such as oral sex, manual stimulation, or the use of toys are often undervalued, although these can be highly pleasurable, especially for those with a vagina.
By viewing intercourse as the primary goal, other aspects of sexual activity can be neglected, reducing them to mere preludes.
Even calling these activities ‘foreplay’ suggests they are secondary rather than integral parts of the experience.
Hannah noted: “Desire is motivated by how much satisfaction comes from an experience and how much you’re predicting the next one will create.”
“Eventually, the body learns: this isn’t that pleasurable for me, so it stops getting excited in the first place.”