A relationship expert has outlined some ‘homework’ that could lead to the ‘most legendary sex ever’.
Before diving into advanced techniques, it’s crucial to assess if you’ve mastered the basics, like kissing. A sex therapist identifies five key indicators suggesting you might need more practice in that area.
The ongoing debate about the significance of penis size in sexual satisfaction is a well-trodden topic. However, another sex and intimacy educator and coach has shared their perspective, stating they ‘don’t remember the last time [they] had bad sex’, and credits one particular reason for this.
After dedicating three years to studying this area, Alyssa Ljub took to TikTok to unveil her ‘number one tip’ for transforming a good sexual experience into a phenomenal one.
In her video, she mentions, “[It] unfortunately does require some homework but the trade off is you will literally have the most bomb, legendary sex ever once you get all this stuff down.” She emphasizes that this is an experience for the individual.
Curious about her advice?
Ljub’s key suggestion is: “My tip is to improve your self pleasure practice.” She believes this approach is effective for several reasons.
She elaborates: “First, it’s really important for everybody to get their arousal system going.
“When we jump too quickly into the action, our brain is not really ready for all of it, so it’s really hard to feel in the moment.”
The coach noted how common it is for people to be distracted during intimate moments by intrusive thoughts about bills or household chores.
But there’s a strategy to prevent those interruptions.
According to Ljub, the key to blocking out such distractions is to approach arousal like a dream state.
She explains, “When we enter full arousal, it is considered an altered state of mind similar to dreaming. When we can really be in that moment, it is a lot easier to let go of being distracted by our to-do list, or ‘Am I taking too long?’, or all of that BS.”
She reassures vulva owners that the average time to reach this state is ‘between eight and 20 minutes’. “You’re not taking too long,” she assures.
Once ‘warmed up’, exploring pleasure becomes more accessible.
Essentially, the advice is to engage in self pleasure, take your time, be patient, and explore various techniques and areas to discover what brings you joy.
Ljub concludes: “That’s the big thing. Once you’re able to know what you like, you have to be able to have those conversations with your partner and that happens in the midst of the activity. You need to be able to vocalize and say, ‘This feels really good. Let me show you’.”
As Ljub emphasizes, understanding your own ‘instrument’ is crucial before guiding someone else on how to play it.