Have you ever had a dream that left you so stressed you woke up drenched in sweat? According to a psychologist, such dreams may signify a variety of things.
Our dreams can sometimes take us to strange or even sexual places. You might have dreamt about being intimate with an ex, a colleague, or a friend, but that doesn’t necessarily indicate a true desire for it to happen.
Even with this understanding, you might still feel uneasy about your morality, particularly if you’re in a committed relationship.
On the contrary, according to Deirdre Leigh Barrett, author of The Committee of Sleep, these dreams are often harmless and have various explanations.
“Dreams just don’t observe those boundaries [that you’d follow in real life],” Barrett explained to Women’s Health Magazine.
For example, a study by bedding company Amerisleep in 2022 found that more than 20 percent of women had experienced dreams of infidelity in the past year.
If you’re dealing with dreams of infidelity (or if your partner is), Barrett suggests defining what you consider ‘cheating’.
What exactly happened in the dream? How did it make you feel? Was it an ongoing affair or just a single incident?
Barrett notes that if something in your waking life evokes similar emotions as the dream, this could uncover its ‘metaphorical’ meaning, as it might indicate being unfaithful to an aspect of yourself.
Dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg, a member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD), also shared insights, stating: “In my research and experience helping my clients understand their cheating dreams, I have found the main reason you cheat in your dreams is because—deep down—you have guilt or concern about something you’re doing that is taking away from the time you should be putting into the relationship.”
Loewenberg highlighted factors such as lack of excitement or passion in a relationship, as well as a history of infidelity, as potential causes of guilt-induced dreams.
“Cheating dreams are rarely about sex but are, more often, a brutally honest reflection of the dynamics within the relationship,” she emphasized.
“Infidelity can be traumatic and very difficult to heal from. Even if it has been years or decades since the transgression, the emotional scar often remains. This includes the scar of guilt with the transgressor.”
If you find yourself as the one being cheated on in the dream, it might be due to feeling like a ‘third wheel’ in your relationship. Loewenberg notes, “It’s often something your partner is giving their time and attention to that causes you to feel left out and ‘cheated’ out of that time you want with them.”
While acknowledging the normalcy of cheating dreams, Barrett advises open communication with your partner if these dreams are troubling you.
“Talking about things in transparency and in an engaging way is the most helpful thing,” she suggests.