A grieving father, Ben Pargman from Georgia, has opened up about the subtle warning signs he overlooked before his son’s tragic suicide.
Ben Pargman shares the heartache and remorse he carries after his son, Ari ‘Manny’ Pargman, took his own life on December 4, 2024, only four months into his first year at college.
In the wake of Manny’s death, Ben emphasizes the crucial need for parents to engage in conversations with their children about suicide, admitting he missed the signs.
He reflects on Manny’s upbringing in Sandy Springs, marked by family, friends, school, sports, music, and summer camp.
In a conversation with local media, Ben recalled a recent Thanksgiving memory where his son seemed joyful and lively.
He shared, “I remember this Thanksgiving, just a couple months ago. There was a kids’ table and I walked out and Manny had everyone doubled over laughing. I don’t know what the joke was but he was just a fun, fun kid.”
Looking back, Ben now sees how Manny’s outward cheerfulness masked the mental distress he was experiencing.
He explained, “He was dealing with some pretty troubling stuff — and one of his ways of managing that was to be happy and excited and cover it up.”
Ben expressed his belief that he overlooked what he now recognizes as warning signs:
He stresses the necessity of discussing suicide with children, asserting that the alternative consequences are far graver.
Ben insisted, “Just have the conversation. Just start it, trip over yourself and it’s ok. It’s ok to say, ‘Hey, I’m just checking in with you. Have you had thoughts of committing suicide?’
“And yeah, that’s awkward and difficult. But I promise you, it’s less awkward and difficult than going to your child’s funeral.
“I can’t do anything to help Manny. I was naive. I was ignorant. I didn’t know. And I missed it. And I don’t think it had to go that way, if I knew more than I knew.”
Experts in mental health emphasize the importance of open discussions between parents and children about suicide and mental well-being.
Kevin Tanner, commissioner of the Georgia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Disabilities, stated, “There’s been a misnomer that talking about suicide will increase the likelihood that someone will commit suicide and that’s just not correct. It’s up to us to talk to our children about suicide.”
In Manny’s memory, his family has established a suicide prevention foundation named ‘Manny’s Band’, inspired by his passion for music.
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, please don’t suffer alone. Call Samaritans for free on their anonymous 24-hour phone line on 116 123.