Guy And Tortoise Go On Wild Boys’ Night While Girlfriend Is On Vacation

When Redditor Consent_van’s girlfriend went on vacation, she entrusted her pet tortoise with him. “Keep him out of trouble,” she said. Well, we’re a bit fuzzy on the details, but based on the photos that have surfaced, it looks like the pair had a boys’ night out worthy of The Hangover.

Chief slo mo drove under the influence. And that’s not even the worst of it.

He did some lines.

And capped the night off with some tortoise porn.

Naturally, people were quick to share their thoughts on all this debauchery.

Alan would approve.