A hospice nurse is striving to make discussions about death more common and less daunting by sharing a profound encounter she had with a patient during his final moments. This incident led her to the concept of a ‘shared death experience’.
Death remains a topic laden with fear and mystery, largely because it is something most people will only face once. However, Julie McFadden, widely known as Hospice Nurse Julie on social media, has spent many years working with those nearing the end of their lives. Through her experiences, she hopes to dispel the fear associated with dying.
Julie shares insights on death via social media and has authored a book titled “Nothing To Fear,” where she addresses various aspects of dying, including the ‘death rattle’ and the experiences patients might have in their last moments.
In her book, Julie recounts a ‘shared death experience’ she had years ago, although she didn’t initially recognize it as such.
The event involved a patient she was particularly fond of, whom she referred to as Randy.
Julie described Randy as a younger man who had isolated himself due to mental health struggles, anxiety, and hoarding behavior. “When we entered his house — it was unsafe and unlivable — he was desperate. I think because he was at the end of his life, he was willing to allow us to help him,” she explained.
To improve Randy’s situation, Julie and her colleagues reached out to his distant relatives and invited them to visit him. They also helped clean his home, and Julie noted a significant change in Randy afterward.
Randy lived for an additional nine months, during which Julie formed a close connection with him.
Julie recounted conversations with Randy about his life, beliefs, and his fluctuating fear of death. On the day of Randy’s passing, she recognized the signs that his time was near.
“He was unconscious, barely breathing, and looked very comfortable,” Julie recalled. After leaving his home, she mentally bid him farewell: “Goodbye Randy, I hope you have a beautiful journey.”
At that instant, Julie claimed she experienced a striking sensation of hearing Randy’s voice in her mind.
“It hit every sense: I could hear his voice, I could feel how he was feeling, and I could see him in my mind’s eye,” she said.
Julie described hearing Randy express: “Oh my gosh, Julie, if only I had known how good this was going to be, I wouldn’t have been so afraid.”
The experience was indescribable for Julie, as it felt like Randy was “smiling and soaring.”
Overcome with emotion, she found herself crying tears of joy in her car from the intensity of the experience. Shortly after, she received a message confirming Randy’s death.
It was not until years later that Julie shared this experience on social media, where she learned from others that it was termed a ‘shared death experience.’
While Julie remains uncertain about the exact nature of what she experienced, she embraces an open-minded approach.
“Whether it’s real or not — or if it’s just our brains doing something to make us feel more comfortable — I think that’s beautiful too,” she concluded.